Making Amends

About a few weeks ago, I made amends with my past. I texted people who we didn’t leave off on the right foot or note. I also made a pact to myself to put my happiness first. While the past year of my life has been quite wild to say the least, I have learned a lot and realized that sometimes you won’t always have all the answers to what you want out of life and how people treat you. I will never understand people who simply leave you on read or cut you out of your life without no explanation. I will never understand how a person cannot just recognize what you said as you did for them. I will never understand why people try to be someone they are not, when they simply should be themselves.

While there are many things I do not understand as many of us probably will never make sense out of, I have realized with time, most of the time, you are happy to leave your past in the past, and honestly to leave some in your past. I have realized that you have a say in who and what you allow in your life. I have realized that you can be content, without making everyone happy. I have realized I know myself, my mind and heart better than I thought. I feel with age and experiences, we learn to extend an olive branch rather than burning bridges with those who burnt you, or left scars with their ruthlessness. I feel that at times you have to make amends with yourself, before you can make amends with someone else.

Making amends is not simple, but a makeshift process, where you have to take your time and put the pieces together so you can fully heal. Healing is not a linear process, but rather you continuing to follow the path in front of you while venturing off to check out the places along the way. We have control over the path we choose to pave, and who we choose to give our energy too. I love to help people but have realized some people, one person in particular (some of you know) just continued to drain me, I am beyond thankful they walked out of my life, since my life has truly been so much better without them in it. I have wanted some to stay, while they choose to leave. Life is a lot like the seasons, we change as the weather do and evolve as environment does too. So if you are reading this, know that you can move on and do not have to forgive, rather make amends and choose to be indifferent to those who wronged you. Some times, things in life have to go wrong before they can go right, and how boring would it be if we didn’t get lost, then found. We all arrive at different times to where we are meant to be, so take time and break free from all that holds you back. Seriously though, it is really f*cking awesome to let go of all you are holding on to.

Tend to time as it ticks on, Mend your heart as it beats on, Lend an olive branch and make amends!

Be-leaf in Yourself

Over the past week, I came down with a nasty head cold and clogged ears. I literally felt like I was in a fish bowl anytime I talked because all I heard was my voice echoing back. But during that time, I realized something that yes you cannot hear well with clogged ears, but many of us are living in our own fish bowl. A fish bowl of expectations of what we expect from ourself and those around us. A fish bowl of filtered down messages tailored to fit us. A fish bowl of feeling stuck within the limits we put on ourselves. A fish bowl where I finally broke it and let the glass shatter of relationships and realizations. Realizing we tend to feel we are stuck inside a fish bowl of who we think we should be and what our next step should be, when being a fish out of water can teach you more than being the catch of the day.

Today, I shattered the damn fish bowl and started this week off with what I self proclaim as a Mindset Monday. I felt one text message from a friend turning a switch on in my mind that sometimes you got to let people and thoughts go like Fall leaves. Leaving behind all that has held you back and stepping into a new season of your life. A season where the leaves are so colorful, yet so rustic. A season where you can change with the leaves , yet be rooted in who you are. A season where learning life’s lessons looks a lot like the leaves in between fall and winter. A season where be-leafing in yourself , embracing your real, colorful and crumbling self can help you fall into a new season of life.

P.S. This autumn, do not forget to be-leaf in yourself and fall more in love with who you are.

How to Be the Best Version of You

To be the best version of yourself, you may need to take steps to get where you want to go. And your path may look a whole lot different than the person right next to you, or even those you strive to be like. If you are striving to be like someone else, just stop right there, because there is only one of you, so embrace it. This post is more or less a conversation between you and me on how you can be the best version of you. A version of yourself that makes you proud, happy or simply healthy in your mind, body and soul.

So first, let’s start with what makes you want to live each and every day, since we all know we have struggled that one morning to get out of bed or maybe even to reach out to someone whose presence has helped you through the highs and lows life throws our way. Well, first think to yourself, what gets me going when all is else is not going your way, what is that one person or reason? Now, think about what thoughts come from that person or reason, write some of them down, are they positive or negative (or a mix of both)?! Okay, now that you had time to think and reflect, think about the effect or affect you have on those around you, how would someone talk about you? Would they say your are nice, or your presence comes with a price. No matter what your answers are at this point, think to yourself… Just put the phone down (not the computer), think about that one thing. After focusing on that one thing or human being, take a moment to fill your mind and heart with intent. Intent to step back or even step out of your comfort zone to appreciate that one reason or person, you don’t have to call or send them a text, but that would nice.

I have done this exercise many times throughout my life, so I can find where my footing and headspace is at. There have been moments of hopelessness and happiness. And in each of those, I have lost myself out of selfishness and selflessness. Self-reflection may look different for you, but for me it is all about being the best version of yourself. Not the version that you think your parents, friends or boss would be proud of, but the expression of the version of a person you want to be.

A lot of times, we get lost in trying to be the best; being the best friend, partner, worker and parent that we are lost and found all at once. Once we realize it is okay for us to step back into ourself, we make that step in working towards molding and embracing what makes us the individual we are. An individual who inspires, desires, and lights the whole dang match with their fire. Don’t be afraid to express who you are, but also don’t forget the only person you have to impress is you. So do not be too hard on yourself, but appreciate the mind and body you have. You are not just anybody, but somebody who embodies someone who is becoming and is the best version of yourself.