I guess you could say it took me four whole years to figure out how to come back to blogging. Oh how I have missed you, yes, you who is reading this.

Over these past four years lots has changed. I got married. I changed careers. I am in the midst of many changes right now.

So with that being said, I have been thinking a lot about “Figuring It Out”.

I feel that means so much to so many different people. Well my journey may be similar or quite different from yours. My hope is that we can feel less alone in this thing called “Life” that can be really hard.

I guess with that being said, let’s get into it.

I feel from the day we are born ’til the day we die, we are figuring it out.

We are first figuring out how to navigate this world as a newcomer to it. Then we are figuring out how to both talk and walk. Since doing both at the same time can be hard for some, at least it is for me sometimes. Well with each step from young to old, we all are just figuring it out. I do not know if anyone as they are lying on death’s bed has figured out this thing called “Life”. Well if they have, then they deserve a Participation Award or Gold Star cause they truly deserve it.

I am 31. I am still figuring it out. I thought when I was 5 I was going to grow up to be an engineer since that is what my dad told me who I should be because he was an engineer. I had no clue what that meant until I was a teenager and realized that would not be my calling. As a ripe teenager applying to college I thought I would be a chemist then I soon realized I wanted to boss business babe until I took Economics. I would like to thank that old man calling people out in class and speaking about GDP because that is when I realized this is not where I am meant to be.

From there, I thought well I like to write. Am I good at it? Well that is up for debate. I know I enjoyed hearing, sharing and telling people’s stories which led me into Journalism then I guess you could say was a whole bunch of figuring it out. I was a Morning News Producer, Marketer, Professional Communicator, and Scribe. Now I am a Community Health Intern. That is a whole a lot of corporate titles to sum up an imperfect, divergent and I guess distinguished professional career up to this point.

At this point, I thought I would be applying to medical school. Years back, I thought at this point I would be established in my career with kids. Now at this point, I am still figuring it out. Thank you MCAT and self doubt for you making me question who I am now career-wise more than ever.

I may not have the answers, but I have so many questions. Yet where do I start. When I say figuring it out, then start with yourself. So many people are going to come in and out of your life. So ask yourself:

Who do I want to be?

What do I see for myself?

Where do I want to exist?

Why is there anything bad about just figuring it out?

How do I show up as my best self?

I may not have the right questions or answers to these but I do know at every step and point in your life you will be figuring it out. Life is meant to be fluid. You do not just have to make a decision and stick with it. Well you might have to yet know you did everything to figure it out and you should be proud of that.

So here I am four yeas later, figuring it out. Maybe you are too. Or you may have already figure it out. No matter where you are or at in figuring out, know you are never alone. Life is full of figuring it out. Hey, just think, by the end of all this, you will be a master in figuring it out.

Jokes aside, I hope you give yourself grace, pat yourself on the back or head (wherever feels most comfortable), and never feel you are failing if you are figuring it out. Let me just say I am proud of the moments when you figured it out and the times when you were lost at how to even figure out how to move forward. I mostly say life, this moment and the next is one big ball of figuring out so roll with it.

Final words: Figuring it out will have its doubts yet there will be moments where you tip your hat to the shoutouts of successes and feel the weight of fallouts from your failures. Know in the midst of all this, figuring it out will always be your first, second and hopefully next move. You got this. Remember, I, the person next to you and maybe even yourself is figuring it out.