I thought about writing the 12 others things I have learned thus far in my 25 years on this Earth, but then I thought there is one thing that encompasses all of those things, while the obvious answer may be ME, it is not. The one thing that encapsulates all of these things is growth. Growth in the sense that we are always growing through what we have gone and are currently going through in life. While that may look different from one person to the next, there is something you can always take away and learn from life, even if it does not make sense in the meantime. As I sat down to write this, I thought about what has this past year of life meant, and honestly what the hell has 2020 meant?!?! Like seriously, what is going on. And all I know is me, you, and the universe is going through a lot of growth, while that can be uncomfortable and sad at times, there is always good things to come and lessons to be learned. Simply put never stop growing and letting those around you know that you are HAPPY TO BE HERE.
And while happiness is this complex, ubiquitous word that we all talk about and hope to have, I have learned with time that happiness sometimes looks like a piece of the puzzle. In the sense we each have a piece of the puzzle to bring to be a part of each other’s happiness, whether that is in the meantime or lifetime, just being here in this moment of time and existing as you are will always be enough. Recently, well about a month ago, I connected with someone who truly changed and feel will continue to change my life with their truth. In our paths crossing, this person taught me so much about life, and that you are not alone in what you go through. And that maybe, we were meant to come into each other’s life for reasons both of us will never understand, or maybe ever know. The one thing I am sure of in my heart, and in my gut is that I never want to loose that connection, despite where our paths go. Finding a real, genuine connection in this world is hard, since we are all scared of what the other person may think of or if they may see our baggage as their luggage. But the thing is you aren’t any of that when you feel like you are home, in a place of a person where you feel comfortable to express who you truly are and sharing how you are still stumbling through life to find who you are.
Life is not a race, where you have to rush to get to the finish line, rather we all need to just pace ourself and enjoy the journey we are on. And maybe we just need to stop comparing ourselves to the person next to us, even if they look a few steps ahead or are fading into the background as we continue to put one foot in front of another. I guess what I am trying to say is, people like me or maybe the person reading this, we are runners. We run away when things seem too good. We run when we feel like we are wasting our time, when time is never wasted but cherished. We run each day to get to places we ought think we need to go based on what society tells us, when we should just let our heart run wild and free. But if you keep running away from all that is good and worthwhile, you will be left feeling like I am, empty and confused as to where I should go or what should I do next. When all I needed to do was stop running and to enjoy the journey. I sometimes wonder if we become more focused on the journey, that we simply don’t enjoy the process and the joy that it brings us.
So be happy you are here…. yes that is so simple to say, yet so hard to believe. Why is that, since we overthink every step we think it will take us to get to where we want to go, when we should simply enjoy each step we get to take on this path we are on. In talking with this person, the phrase Pathways kept popping into my mind and I started to think the many pathways, each of us have taken, me, you and all of us. Our pathways are so different, yet so similar since we arrived here reading this and connecting with one another. Maybe all we are lacking in this world is realizing that while our pathways are all heading in different directions, we can still come back and arrive at a common place of wanting to feel loved, understood and growing to become better with each day. So what pathway will you take, and where will you pave your pathway, who do you want to bring on that pathway and when will you let your pathway lead the way, and why wouldn’t you be proud of that pathway you are on?! Think to yourself, and if you aren’t content, then starting paving your own damn pathway in life, you will look back and be happy you did. So let the kid inside of you be curious, the teen inside of you be complicated and the adult inside of you be courageous enough to pave that pathway. Last but not least, let’s get back to what HAPPY YOU ARE HERE all means, well let me do what I do to reflect and hopefully offer insight to you, is well by writing a poem. So here is the poem for you, because simply put, I am beyond HAPPY YOU ARE HERE:
Happy You Are Here
Happy You Are Here
The Person Reading This
The Lessons Learned
The Seasons Passed
The Sessions Completed
The Tunes Listened To
The Words Written
I am “Happy You Are Here”
The Person Writing This
Who Are You? (Who Do You Want To Be?)
Where Are You? (Where Do You Want To Go?)
Why Do I Care? (Why Should I Care?)
How Are You? (How Were You Before?)
What Are You? (What Were You After?)
When You….??? (When Will You Be?)
You Asked Questions, Yet I Don’t Have the Answer
But I know,
You are “Happy You Are Here”
But what about him or her
But why I do feel hurt, yet not healed
But who will I be, I am scared
Scared about never being enough
Well, We Are “Happy You Are Here”
Why Are You Happy?
Well What Made You So Sad?
And When Will You No Longer Be Mad?
And Who Will Make You Glad?
Tell me Where You Are At?
But I am lost
You Are Not, I found You
But I am Mess
You Are a Stain of Pain, Yet I found my Silver Lining
But I keep giving you mixed signals
You Should Really Go, I don’t have to, you gave me the directions
We Should Stop, Time can’t heal all wounds, I don’t want to Hurt You
You Won’t, I’ll patch you to heal so you can be really who you want to be
But What About If I Am Wrong, You Have Always Been Right
And I Want to Move Forward, But I Keep Getting Pulled Back
Let go, Let go with each day, each moment and live this life with intent
But What About If I Can’t Shield You, You Don’t Have To
Well Why Is That?
Because see, that person, they are “Happy You Are Here”
Wait They Are, Why Would They Think That?
Well we saw where you came from, and what brought you here, my dear..
We saw the fear in your eyes.
We witnessed the gears you shifted through to find what felt right.
We captured the shear strength you had to make it here.
Wait What Do You Mean?
Honey, we are “Happy You Are Here”
When Did You Think That?
We stopped thinking about them, and started with the thought of you.
Where Did This All Come From?
We kept going, going and never stopped to see we were passing right by all that you said and meant. We can’t keep living a lie, we now know we have to live the truth.
The truth of a lie? No that’s FALSE
Then, WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?
WELL MEANING HAS NO SUBSTANCE, IF YOU AREN’T HERE
You said that when I was there and now here
Where did I go Wrong?
You were always right, you always had it all in front of you, it just took you time and will continue to, with each day my sweet dear you will find fear makes a pact with courage, with each moment you will find you have to go through hell to have a piece of heaven, and with each memory you find a story you get to tell as what used to be fades and you are made into who you were and where you were meant to always be… right here, not there, but here, what where I am, you are here, where is here, it is right there, and what does this all mean??? We may never know, so slow down son, take each step day by day, because this moment brought you to today…. and simply said..
WE ARE “HAPPY YOU ARE HERE”… Glad you could join us… yet we never left.
PS this poem was written to reflect how many of us experience the feeling of overthinking, looking back and forward, wondering why we can’t keep pace in the race of life, and pondering why the finish line keeps getting moved every time we run towards an idea of where we ought to think we should go to feel completed. Yet all we should remember in this moment, is to be HAPPY WE ARE HERE, ENJOYING THE PAIN, MESS, HAPPINESS, DISDAIN, AND THE GRAIN OF GRACE LIFE WILL BRING US AS WE CONTINUE TO GROW INTO WHO WERE ALWAYS MEANT TO BE…. SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE!! (CAPS & CHEERS INCLUDED)