Poser

Lately the word, “poser” keeps coming to mind, and I honestly don’t know why. When you think of poser, what or who do you think of? I for some reason think about all of the people I see on social media, like Instagram or Facebook. I think about the people who just show the highlight reel of their lives. When we all know damn well, we are all going through something that we aren’t deciding to share on social media. But what about if social media was not a highlight reel, but a highlight REAL. We all live real lives, have real issues and do some really awesome things. Really though, but why do we decide to knit pick and not showcase pieces the behind of the scenes of our lives.

I feel if more people on social media did that, it would make them more relatable and let them know what they go through is not abnormal. Yet influencers or celebrities decide to take hiatuses, then come back and act like nothing really ever happened. I think it all comes to transparency. Being transparent about who you are, what you stand for and how you choose to live your life. I feel in some aspects we are all posers, even I’d call myself a poser since I choose to keep pieces of my life private and decide not show the not so great experiences, well I sometimes do on here.

Besides the fact, imagine if we lived our lives without filters, presets, FaceTune or followers, how would life look to you if none of that existed? I sometimes feel life would be better without aspects of social media, such as followers, since it puts people on pedestals that they are bound to fall off of or be in a constant battle of comparing yourself to someone else. I at times, catch myself like many of you, feeling like I am not enough and emulating parts of people I look up to you, but in the end that just leaves me feeling empty. I have learned with time, you hold so much power in just being you, the right people will decide to stay in your life for the right reasons, and you honestly become a healthier mentally and physically. While at the end of the day, we may all be posers at some points in our lives, that’s okay, but never forget to be who you are, you hold so much power in being unapologetically you.

PS part of the reason I started the blog, Mildly Me was because I felt many, myself included show the world mild versions of who we are, in order to fit in and feel like we can survive this wild world we exist in. We all have been posers at points in our lives, felt like we were the losers on the winning team, only to find out we hold that superpower within who we are (whatever that may be, share it with the world and don’t let the haters get to you, you’ll forever be a winner in my and many hearts and eyes!!)

Finding Yourself Through It All

Finding myself through it all, this year has been quite a ride. I went from standing up for myself to realizing that we still live in a time where people rather acknowledge then move on with their lives. Learning that victim blaming is real, despite what changes have been showcased in real media. In that moment I realized sometimes the best thing you can do is leave a rather toxic chapter behind you. And only a few months into 2019, I stepped into a chapter of my life that came with it’s changes, good and bad. I stepped into a job that I am beyond grateful for. I stepped into living with my boo of 2 and half years, while our relationship has had its’ ups and downs, we continue to make it through despite all the odds playing against us.

While stepping into new experiences means sometimes the old needs to be shed from your life; more importantly relationships that were rather taking from me than giving and showing up for me. Knowing when to let things and people go can be hard, but can be the most transformative moments in your life. I guess what I am saying is I have grown a lot this year and know that going into 2020, I can feel it in my bones, heart and mind that this will be the best year yet. It will be a year of unimaginable growth, while I don’t know what exactly this year holds for me or for you, I know this new decade, new age will challenge us and uplift us through so many breakthroughs.

Breaking through barriers that once held us back. Breaking through to become the best version of yourself. Breaking through to taking that first step on the path you have always wanted to venture down. Cause let me say 2020 will be the year, hold me to my word where I and hopefully you too will be making breakthrough the barriers of our mind, opinions that once held us back. Staying on track may be hard but always move forward, despite how many times you get derailed, you will one day I know deep down will get to the destination you are hoping to go to or be at. While I do not have 2020 vision, and life is not perfect and neither are any of us, let’s venture into this new season, new age and new decade.

Cheers to 2020!!

I Am Deplorable

In this past week I have been mulling over the idea of how many of us feel like we are so disconnected in a connected world, and feel like our opinion does not matter. I have many conversations with friends who feel like they are stigmatized or simply feel alone in how they feel. So I thought why don’t we just stop beating around the bush and just speak our silence. In this moment of feeling lost, or why should I even share my voice, I felt this phrase “I Am Deplorable” repeat again and again in on my mind, no matter how hard I tried it would not go away. So I started creating a poem in my mind of how many of us myself include feel about the world we live in, while many of us may have different perspectives of what that may look like, this is what I came up with:

I Am Deplorable

I am deplorable…
I am deplorable to those around me
I am deplorable to my thoughts
I am deplorable to you,
I am deplorable to them,
I am deplorable to disconnected people,
in a supposedly connected world
where everyone thinks they are important
than the person right next to them
I am deplorable to capital America,
falling victim to consumerism
and unrealistic beauty standards
and a world where real issues seem fake
as our world continues to bake.


I am deplorable to the thought that
our body and voice matters
when clearly we still live in an age
where I am just another page in a book
the chapter the reader decided to skip,
so they could get to the end faster.


I am deplorable to slowing down
Because you got to keep up with the Jones
To stay relevant in our touch and go world
I am deplorable to likes and comments
And how many followers do you have?
Cause I could have many, but do not feel like
Anyone really cares anymore
We just focus on the before and after
Not the now and forever.


I am deplorable to not appreciating those close
To me
Because of fear of missing out.


I am deplorable to my phone
My computer
My credit card
Because if there was no me
Then what would this world be
Would people know they are seen,
Heard and loved
Cause I guess you cannot say hi
Without feeling like the person you are talking with
wants to say goodbye.


I guess I am just deplorable to the idea
Of intimate relationships with those around me
Because we are more concerned about our dates
With fate
Our image
Our age
Our page in the story,
I wish we weren’t deplorable
But with every day I feel we are just
Pieces of paper
Posts of captured moments
And no longer living in the moment
But rather building tents of intent
Intent to be better than the person next to them
Plenty of times, I bet you have felt deplorable
But you are capable of so much more
More than what you think this life has in store for you.