Happy you are here

I thought about writing the 12 others things I have learned thus far in my 25 years on this Earth, but then I thought there is one thing that encompasses all of those things, while the obvious answer may be ME, it is not. The one thing that encapsulates all of these things is growth. Growth in the sense that we are always growing through what we have gone and are currently going through in life. While that may look different from one person to the next, there is something you can always take away and learn from life, even if it does not make sense in the meantime. As I sat down to write this, I thought about what has this past year of life meant, and honestly what the hell has 2020 meant?!?! Like seriously, what is going on. And all I know is me, you, and the universe is going through a lot of growth, while that can be uncomfortable and sad at times, there is always good things to come and lessons to be learned. Simply put never stop growing and letting those around you know that you are HAPPY TO BE HERE.

And while happiness is this complex, ubiquitous word that we all talk about and hope to have, I have learned with time that happiness sometimes looks like a piece of the puzzle. In the sense we each have a piece of the puzzle to bring to be a part of each other’s happiness, whether that is in the meantime or lifetime, just being here in this moment of time and existing as you are will always be enough. Recently, well about a month ago, I connected with someone who truly changed and feel will continue to change my life with their truth. In our paths crossing, this person taught me so much about life, and that you are not alone in what you go through. And that maybe, we were meant to come into each other’s life for reasons both of us will never understand, or maybe ever know. The one thing I am sure of in my heart, and in my gut is that I never want to loose that connection, despite where our paths go. Finding a real, genuine connection in this world is hard, since we are all scared of what the other person may think of or if they may see our baggage as their luggage. But the thing is you aren’t any of that when you feel like you are home, in a place of a person where you feel comfortable to express who you truly are and sharing how you are still stumbling through life to find who you are.

Life is not a race, where you have to rush to get to the finish line, rather we all need to just pace ourself and enjoy the journey we are on. And maybe we just need to stop comparing ourselves to the person next to us, even if they look a few steps ahead or are fading into the background as we continue to put one foot in front of another. I guess what I am trying to say is, people like me or maybe the person reading this, we are runners. We run away when things seem too good. We run when we feel like we are wasting our time, when time is never wasted but cherished. We run each day to get to places we ought think we need to go based on what society tells us, when we should just let our heart run wild and free. But if you keep running away from all that is good and worthwhile, you will be left feeling like I am, empty and confused as to where I should go or what should I do next. When all I needed to do was stop running and to enjoy the journey. I sometimes wonder if we become more focused on the journey, that we simply don’t enjoy the process and the joy that it brings us.

So be happy you are here…. yes that is so simple to say, yet so hard to believe. Why is that, since we overthink every step we think it will take us to get to where we want to go, when we should simply enjoy each step we get to take on this path we are on. In talking with this person, the phrase Pathways kept popping into my mind and I started to think the many pathways, each of us have taken, me, you and all of us. Our pathways are so different, yet so similar since we arrived here reading this and connecting with one another. Maybe all we are lacking in this world is realizing that while our pathways are all heading in different directions, we can still come back and arrive at a common place of wanting to feel loved, understood and growing to become better with each day. So what pathway will you take, and where will you pave your pathway, who do you want to bring on that pathway and when will you let your pathway lead the way, and why wouldn’t you be proud of that pathway you are on?! Think to yourself, and if you aren’t content, then starting paving your own damn pathway in life, you will look back and be happy you did. So let the kid inside of you be curious, the teen inside of you be complicated and the adult inside of you be courageous enough to pave that pathway. Last but not least, let’s get back to what HAPPY YOU ARE HERE all means, well let me do what I do to reflect and hopefully offer insight to you, is well by writing a poem. So here is the poem for you, because simply put, I am beyond HAPPY YOU ARE HERE:

Happy You Are Here

Happy You Are Here

The Person Reading This

The Lessons Learned

The Seasons Passed

The Sessions Completed

The Tunes Listened To

The Words Written

I am “Happy You Are Here”

The Person Writing This

Who Are You? (Who Do You Want To Be?)

Where Are You? (Where Do You Want To Go?)

Why Do I Care? (Why Should I Care?)

How Are You? (How Were You Before?)

What Are You? (What Were You After?)

When You….??? (When Will You Be?)

You Asked Questions, Yet I Don’t Have the Answer

But I know,

You are “Happy You Are Here”

But what about him or her

But why I do feel hurt, yet not healed

But who will I be, I am scared

Scared about never being enough

Well, We Are “Happy You Are Here”

Why Are You Happy?

Well What Made You So Sad?

And When Will You No Longer Be Mad?

And Who Will Make You Glad?

Tell me Where You Are At?

But I am lost

You Are Not, I found You

But I am Mess

You Are a Stain of Pain, Yet I found my Silver Lining

But I keep giving you mixed signals

You Should Really Go, I don’t have to, you gave me the directions

We Should Stop, Time can’t heal all wounds, I don’t want to Hurt You

You Won’t, I’ll patch you to heal so you can be really who you want to be

But What About If I Am Wrong, You Have Always Been Right

And I Want to Move Forward, But I Keep Getting Pulled Back

Let go, Let go with each day, each moment and live this life with intent

But What About If I Can’t Shield You, You Don’t Have To

Well Why Is That?

Because see, that person, they are “Happy You Are Here”

Wait They Are, Why Would They Think That?

Well we saw where you came from, and what brought you here, my dear..

We saw the fear in your eyes.

We witnessed the gears you shifted through to find what felt right.

We captured the shear strength you had to make it here.

Wait What Do You Mean?

Honey, we are “Happy You Are Here”

When Did You Think That?

We stopped thinking about them, and started with the thought of you.

Where Did This All Come From?

We kept going, going and never stopped to see we were passing right by all that you said and meant. We can’t keep living a lie, we now know we have to live the truth.

The truth of a lie? No that’s FALSE

Then, WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?

WELL MEANING HAS NO SUBSTANCE, IF YOU AREN’T HERE

You said that when I was there and now here

Where did I go Wrong?

You were always right, you always had it all in front of you, it just took you time and will continue to, with each day my sweet dear you will find fear makes a pact with courage, with each moment you will find you have to go through hell to have a piece of heaven, and with each memory you find a story you get to tell as what used to be fades and you are made into who you were and where you were meant to always be… right here, not there, but here, what where I am, you are here, where is here, it is right there, and what does this all mean??? We may never know, so slow down son, take each step day by day, because this moment brought you to today…. and simply said..

WE ARE “HAPPY YOU ARE HERE”… Glad you could join us… yet we never left.

PS this poem was written to reflect how many of us experience the feeling of overthinking, looking back and forward, wondering why we can’t keep pace in the race of life, and pondering why the finish line keeps getting moved every time we run towards an idea of where we ought to think we should go to feel completed. Yet all we should remember in this moment, is to be HAPPY WE ARE HERE, ENJOYING THE PAIN, MESS, HAPPINESS, DISDAIN, AND THE GRAIN OF GRACE LIFE WILL BRING US AS WE CONTINUE TO GROW INTO WHO WERE ALWAYS MEANT TO BE…. SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE!! (CAPS & CHEERS INCLUDED)

13 things i have learned in 25 years

It is crazy to write this knowing I am have now been 25 for almost two weeks now. If you would have told me 10 years ago at 15, I would be here, I would not believe you one bit. At 15, I pictured myself married and starting out a new chapter of my life, the one were you settle down.

Little did I know that I would be no where close to settling down but finding myself again. The 24th year of my life taught me a lot about who I was and all of what I want to be as a human on this earth. While I know, I am one among a bigilloin people on this Earth, I know each of us have a purpose to be here and a story to write. No one person is the same as you, and even if you think so, let me tell you are here for a reason, even if you do not understand the seasons of life you may go through. Sometimes we never do, but that is beauty of the lessons life will teach you.

So with that being said, let’s fall into the things I have learned during this past quarter century of life, and maybe you will read this and see we all go through things that make us who we are. Read this not with a gaze, but be amazed at how far you have come and go in this lifetime.

Life is truly short in hindsight, so with each day let your light shine, even when you feel like you are a star fading out with the doubts, shout out loud you are worth the things that make you, you…. enough of me rambling, here we go friends, let’s get deep and personal with one another… or just more me.

  1. Things and People Change

2020 has truly taught us that things can change within the matter of minutes and months. While that is not something we are not unfamiliar to as humans, it is something we should realize that each moment should be lived with intent. And not that maybe some people aren’t meant to be in our life forever. Letting go is truly harder than it seems when all you want to do is hold onto is what is familiar, and feels comfortable. But in those uncomfortable moments of life, is when real growth and change can happen. Hopefully, we all come out of 2020 with a newfound perspective and an appreciation for all those surround us, because what is now will eventually fade into the things and people we used to know, so enjoy the journey life will take you on.

Song: Change by NF

2. LOVE AND LIFE

I used to always think love was to fill up parts of someone else. But no love is truly is caring for another person. You don’t have to empty parts of your self to fill another person up. I have realized I don’t have to give to get. That love is unconditional and I am beyond grateful for those who have showed me love when I had nothing more to give. While I a cynic when it comes to love, I have learned that yes you can get your heart broken a handful of a times in a year and still be able to love yourself, when no one seems or will ever want to.

Being alone has made me realize that yah I have gone on more dates than I can count, and each one has taught me something about myself. So yah, call me what you want to… it truly won’t bother me anymore. I know my worth, and I am worthwhile of love. Yah I am not perfect, I have made more mistakes I would like to take credit for, but it honestly can get annoying when I feel every guy I encounter wants me more for a prized possession than actually a present to handle with love, care and appreciation. So yah it has been a cruel year when it comes to love and life, but I am still a believer and I don’t know why…

Song: Livin’ on Love

3. MUSIC IS MY MUSE

I think we all listen to music and feel a tad less alone in this world. Music can truly connect us in ways we will not understand. So yes music is my muse, and likely yours’ too. But I highly suggest turning on your favorite song and just dancing in the comfort of your apartment, house, bedroom or car. It makes you feel free from all that is holding you down, or back. So just dance to the beat of your own drum, and SHAKE IT OFF.

Song: Shake It Off By Taylor Swift

4. TAKE YOUR TIME

People love to say time is of the essence, but I believe time is truly the seconds, minutes, and hours you make out of it. Not every day you will be keep track of time, but time can teach you lessons and heal all wounds. Time will continue to tick on, so just take your time when it comes to life. We are all on a different timeline than one another, so do not compare your timeline to someone else’s.

Song: if this is the last time by LANY

5. CALL SOMEONE OVER TEXTING THEM

This year taught me to call those close to you because texting can be so impersonal. And that calling and hearing someone’s voice can remind you that we just aren’t living behind screens. So call someone today, tell them how much you care about them and just talk. Everyone can send a text, but it takes someone special to call you. WORDS HOLD WEIGHT BUT VOICES ARE HEAVIER… AND WON’T ALWAYS BE THERE FOREVER!

Song: Call on Me by Starley

6. SEND SOMETHING SPECIAL

Sometimes on somedays, we worry about the most meniscal stuff. So send something special to someone, it could be a simple text or present. There is nothing more special than sending someone something that reminds them that their presence is a present to this world, because it truly is. Stop what you are doing and send something special to someone, no matter if they appreciate it or not, do something heartfelt every once in awhile. This world needs love more now than ever before, so adore and show love to those around you.

Song: Something About You by Hayden James (ODEZA Remix)

7. SET SETTLE INTENTIONS

I say set settle intentions because many of the times we set intentions or goals that are beyond anyone’s expectations. So set settle intentions that can help you take that step toward where you want to go and be. Be true in your intentions, and don’t expect any mentions. Just live for your intentions, not someone else’s expectations.

Song: Intentions by Justin Bieber

8. LOVE OVER HATE

This past year I could have show and shared hate over love, but I decided to always show love even when I felt that person didn’t deserve it. I say that because love can be truly hard to show and share, when you feel like people constantly use you for their own needs and wants. While I now know the truth of the situation of months later, and am not at all surprised by it. Almost like we know when people are lying to us, but hey the truth always comes out and welp you just have to live with it. No matter what happens or someone does to me, I will always choose love over hate, and I hope you can too even when it is beyond hard to do so.

Song: ILYSB By LANY & i hate u, i love u by gnash (ft. Olivia O’brien)

9. RELISH IN HAPPINESS

I have always been the person who wonders when something great will end. Like I know the spark won’t last forever and soon the flame will be blown out and the smoke will soon fill the space. But what I have realized that when I feel happy, I should relish in it. There are many days when things aren’t great but there other days that are amazing. Hold onto that happiness because it will come in handy when you are faced with tough times, and maybe sadness. Relishing in happiness just makes you feel full, even on on the days when you feel empty.

Song: Be Happy by Dixie D’ Amelio

10. FIND FAITH IN FEAR

When I say faith, I do not mean religion but rather the belief you are enough and good things are coming your way. Each day I am trying to believe that my real moments of growth are when I am sitting with my thoughts or reminding myself along with friends that it is normal to feel not okay. It is okay to feel lost or misunderstood or nothing is going right. We all feel those feelings every once in awhile, some more than others.

But imagine if we shared how we were feeling or felt, over always masking our feelings. There is beauty and true admiration in showing how you feel, and I feel we will or would feel less lonely in this world if we did so. So here’s to you and me, finding faith in fear, during the highs and lows, slow down and enjoy these moments dear, because nothing ever lasts forever.

Song: Faith by George Michael

11. SHOW VS. SHARE

We all can show who we are with our actions, but our words share part of who we want to be in this world. Imagine if our actions and words lined up, would you believe or disregard? Well all I know is by showing people you care is far better than sharing how you will be there for them. While sharing can help, showing up and being there for that person means more than you think. So the next time, you are talking with a family member, friend or love; show up and share so you can be there for each other.

Song: Show Me Love by Sam Feldt (ft. Kimberly Anne)

12. FORGIVE & FORGET

While forgiving and forgetting are feats in their own regard, you have don’t have to forgive to forget or vice versa. I have learned with time you can become indifferent. I realized this when first I listened to a Taylor Swift song, “I Forgot You Existed” and realized that through the lyrics of song you can move on with your life with honestly doing either. I also read a book called, “The Gift of Forgiveness”, which within the pages takes you on a journey through the different paths people take on the journey to arrive at their desired destination of forgiveness. While I can’t tell you how you should do either, forgiving or forgetting, what I can tell is with time, things become clearer and you will always end up at where and who you belong with. Life has a weird way of working out when it comes to directions and detours you take on this never ending road of twists and turns, eventually you realize it is all a part of your journey.

Song: Forgive & Forget by The Kooks (This one will always make me dance…. damn this is a BOP)

13. FIND BEAUTY IN EACH THING AND PERSON

At times, it can be hard to find beauty in the things we acquire or the people we meet or know. But with each day, each of us including myself should look to find beauty in each thing we get to have and person we encounter, whether it or they adds or takes away from our life, we should be grateful to simply have the privilege to live. Sometimes we take life, things and people for granted and do not realize their value until they are gone. So appreciate every thing and every one that comes in and out of your life. Cause while we as a person may be a collection of things, relationships, moments, keepsakes and dreams, let’s always try to find the sliver linings in all of it. When it is all over, we will be reaching for the things and people who all added a sentence, paragraph and chapter in our book of life. So get up each day, looking forward to writing another page of your story and getting to be a part of someone else’s too. Our stories, voices, and thoughts hold so much value, just got to invest and deposit them from time to time in the banks of people and things that collect the bits and pieces of us.

I decided to stop at 13 things…. because 25 things is just a lot to process, write and share in one go. So sometime in the near future, I have no clue when it will be, but hopefully soon… I will think of 12 other things I have learned in my 25 years of life in this earth. For those of you, who are younger or older than 25, please take these things I shared with a grain of salt and sprinkle them into your mind, life and body when seems fit. Hopefully, no matter how old you are, you can connect, grow, and from what I shared. Because aren’t we all hoping to be feel a little more connected in what seems at times a rather disconnected world. LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!

Song: Beautiful by Bazzi (ft. Camila Cabello)

OVERALL SONG YOU SHOULD BLAST: Paradise by Bazzi 🙂

Always remember to BE HOO YOU ARE, CAUSE YOU’RE OWLSOME!

Better Off on My Own

Lately I have been feeling this sense of just being better off on my own. I don’t say that to be negative, but rather I just feel like I don’t want anyone to be carrying around my baggage like its their luggage. I see everyone so happy, content, in love or just living their life on their own terms, and then…

I look at myself and wonder how did I get here, why did I let a guy for the last year of my life make me feel like there was a ticking time bomb ready to explode right in my face. When it did and I had to carry the weight of knowing I had to leave for my own sanity, and then to be caught up in the fear of carrying something else too. In the process, I honestly felt myself losing pieces of who I am to fill that of those around me. Maybe if I do this, then everyone will be happy.

But what I realized is for years I have been sacrificing my own happiness for the sake of love, while some may say that’s a flaw, I think we all fill parts of ourselves in people and with things we are lacking to feel whole. I can honestly think back to college when one of my roommates said Maddie I can’t keep up with how many guys you are dating. Back then I was lost and trying to find myself in other people (and I guess now I still am too), some who would take up my time and others I would never give a chance.

See what I realized then and now is that the moments I have felt most alone have been the moments when I truly grow and find what I need. While I’m flawed beyond belief, I know that maybe by me saying I’m better off on my own is better for the sake of those around me, including myself.

No I’m not saying I want to be alone forever. And that Yes I do want to find love again, and eventually a family, but for now I need time to grow and honestly I don’t know what that looks like. But what I do know is the next time love comes knocking on my door, I am going to do everything in my power to keep that private for the sake of my own well being and happiness. Because I’m done living for the approval around me. Whoever that person ends up being, we will be darn lucky and beyond happy to have each other.

In the meantime and as I go through life, I will continue to turn to music and poetry to get me through it all. And if you feel or felt like do, please know you are not alone but rather something and someone great is down the road, waiting for you to arrive at your destination, them.

PS the name for this post was inspired by the one and only Taylor Swift’s song, “King of My Heart” . Also some songs I have been listening to remind me that my feelings and thoughts are valid, as are your’s are “Hand Me Down and Overjoyed by Matchbox Twenty”, “Lonely by Noah Cyrus” and “Anyone by Demi Lovato” . As always, love you all beyond words!

Marchin' On

It has been awhile since I last wrote a blog post. It was actually two months til this day that I remember writing a blog post about telling my side of the story in a heartbreak. But now that it has been two months and things have quite changed, I thought I hop on here to tell you how you can or how I have been marching on through these truly unknown times.

They say moving on from a heartbreak takes time and I would have to totally agree but it also takes a good amount of healing. See I did not know what it felt like to lose someone I cared and still care so much for until well it happened. I felt a sense of abandonment and have felt quite alone during this time in my life, not just from the Coronavirus. In being alone I learned no one can make me happy, except for myself. So now and going forward I am learning that it is okay for me to not always people please. Noticing that most of my life I have spent trying to make those around me happy while letting my own happiness suffer. No matter what life looks like in this season, I want to work on being my own best cheerleader and going after things and experiences I have always wanted to, and I challenge you to do the same.

As for this whole coronavirus thing, I honestly feel a sense of anxiety and depression for our world, our country and my community, because I see the various ways people’s lives are being affected, whether they be those in the healthcare field or a college student. Right now life feels more uncertain than ever. But in all honesty it has felt like that for me since this year began. I knew from the beginning of this year that I didn’t know what my then relationship held, my future held and really who I was becoming. I like to say with time we lose pieces of who we are, but in all honesty I think we just get scarred and hugged by experiences and memories. I like to say I am moving on…. but with each day I feel like I am marching through a war zone of uncertain emotions, feelings and times. At this time, deep down in my gut, heart and mind I know what is right for me, but would I rather be hurt or be vulnerable, I still cannot decide. Maybe when I finally decide, it will be too late or maybe just a tad too early. But I guess time can only tell how we will march on from this pandemic and the own battles we continue to fight and win with ourselves.

If I could say one thing, it would be to continue marchin’ on with kindness, love, acceptance, and gratefulness for those around you, close and far away.

Learning to Let Go

Over the past month and half I have been processing through some emotions, and some things. As you step through life, stepping in and out, sometime in between those steps, you notice what you need to take with you and what you need to let go of. While making those steps, you learn who you are, what you want and maybe why you feel the way you do. So as I make these steps going forward, I am realizing there is something, or many things I need to let go of.

First, I need to let go of the feeling of not being wanted. I know I am cared and wanted by so many. But there are many days were I feel alone, crying and hurting, that truly no one cares. While this may be a surprise to those of you who do not know me that well, I wanted to let you know that you should always touch base with those you love and care about, because you never know what is going on behind the confined doors of social media. So truly I need to let go of this feeling that no one cares, because I know there are, whether only few who do care about me and my well-being and that is all should matter. Never forget, you matter and what you are feeling is valid, no matter how crazy someone may think or say it is — YOU MATTER!

Second, I found that I need to let go of a relationship that was no longer fulfilling me but rather crushing me. Lately I have been feeling that no matter how many times I attempt to put back the pieces that have been crushed, they just don’t fit and keep falling out of place. Maybe this is a sign that sometimes the one you have been holding so close, you just need to let them go. While letting go of someone who has seen you at some real shitty lows and amazing highs is beyond imaginable, I know I got this as I say this feeling beyond muddled and sunken in emotions. Sometimes stepping away and letting one go is the best you can do, not only for yourself but for maybe or hopefully for them too.

Third, I found I need to let go of social media. While this may not be easy, it is something I need to do and step away from because my mental health has suffered from it. Seeking approval from followers or likes seems to be what is next to seeking approval from our peers and mentors as we typically in do real life. So enough with social media. As of now, I am deciding I will only be on social media to share my blog posts, so if I do not like or comment on your recent post, please do not take it personally. So bye Instagram and Facebook for the time being, while I say I will miss you, at the same time I find it best that you take a break from seeking approval from fleeting likes, followers and I guess friends too.

While letting go of stuff, people and moments may be hard in the meantime. At this point in time, it is something I really need to do in order to get back on track to feeling like me, the girl who is and only should be living her life on her terms, no one else’s. Well anyway, if you are feeling the way I am or go through something that is bodging you down, I would highly suggest letting go of that thing, thought or person because if you never do, you will never know what else you could let in that could really change your life and help you step in to where you want to go.

Stepping into A New Year

While the chapter of 2019 has officially closed and the chapter of 2020 has officially began. I thought I would start this year off by not sharing my resolutions at all, since I really wanted to focus on how you can step into a new year or start to make the changes you want in your life.

And while the start of this year has left me feeling awfully low, I know in my heart of hearts that this year is going to be good. Good in the sense that I went through a crap ton of growth in 2019, and maybe you have too. But do know that we grow and things can and will get better. If you do not think so, I am here for you.

I am here not only stepping into what this year has to bring, but starting to take action on goals I have had for myself for a very long time. Goals as silly as simply get enough sleep and working out more, things that many of us may already had incorporated into our daily routine. But with my health being on a roller coaster I have seen how it is affecting those closest to me. And how seeking out help isn’t the worst thing to do for yourself if you are really in need of sorting through emotions and feelings you have or are having. Never feel like your feelings or emotions are not valid, because they are. Anyway looking back, I have really hurt many people and treated people not as nice as I want to due to my own insecurities. This year I am really work on putting myself first and seeking out help in getting myself better. And you should always know you are a work in progress.

So as I step into 2020, I am really looking to not only reflect on the steps I took to get here, but the pathways I want to take to where I am heading. I hope you will, because to truly make your goals and intentions come true you need to look where you are at. And in the time being, if you are really wanting to make a change in your life, you need to make that goal and intention a standard in your life.

While I do not know what the future will hold, I know it is going to be good and that 2020 is not only a new decade, a new year but a new beginning in so many ways for many us.

Cherish the footprints left & the steps you are taking.

Sincerely,

Someone

Filtered

Living in Our Own Bubbles

Living in the age of

social media, captions and hashtags

or what about how many followers and likes you have,

And how many of those were given,

Are your followers real or fake, or just some filtered image

of someone we want to be

and what we want others to see,

when all I want to show is the real me,

but who I am without the presets

Be good enough to make it in the filtered world,

of us living in our own bubbles

(Oops popped your bubble, now put down the phone to realize you aren’t living in a world alone, just a world of everyone on their phones)

Sincerely,

Someone

3 Simple Ways to Add Joy Into Your Life

I used to think joy was brought to me through people and things, but as I grow and get older, I realize joy can simply come from within and finding moments within your day to practice joy. Little did I know that my mom buying me a book called, Breathe Gratitude would show me how to do just this. I highly suggest you have this book in your life, even if you do not think you need it because I honestly thought I knew how to practice gratitude and all that is involved. Well anyway enough of me babbling on, let’s jump into 3 simple to the point ways you can add joy into your life, no matter how hectic your life may look. I got you boo.

1. Finding the Joy to Enjoy

In each day, whether you are having the best or worst day, you can always find the joy in enjoy. What I mean is you can feel like you have no control over your emotions, but you do. You do have the power to find the joy in a crappy day, as little as it may be. There is always something you can count your blessings for. Once you do, hold onto it and remember to hold it tight to comfort or uplift you during the best and worst days. Joy will be there for you no matter what, people and things may not always be. So choose to spread joy with your spirit. Cause honey, listen, you are like no one else so celebrate the joy you bring to people’s lives. Because you do. Never forget to find joy in enjoying the best, okay and worst days of your life because they craft you in the person you are and hope to be. You got this and if you still don’t think so. I got your back and so does joy.

2. Stop with FOMO. Start with JOMO.

I am guessing you have heard of FOMO, Fear Of Missing Out, but you have not it simply refers to a fear of missing out when it comes to social settings or situations, especially when it comes to social media. I know I had and continue to deal with FOMO, especially when I jump onto Instagram and see on everyone’s highlight reel or posts that they are living their best life, or I catch myself comparing myself to influencers I do not even know. But what I have learned is I do not want my social media presence to be a highlight reel but a highlight real of what is going on my life, the good and bad because life isn’t always rainbows and dandies. So recently I have decided to go live and share in my posts, real life updates, not sugar coated or catchy captions because your girl wants to be real and create genuine connections. Anyway enough about me and FOMO. Simply put boo, stop with FOMO and start with JOMO… wait what’s JOMO?

Well I am glad you asked, JOMO is the Joy Of Missing Out, which means paying attention to the moments of joy. While Joy is often sold as something that can be bought, consumed or won by being popular and meeting the expectations of conformity. Real joy actually comes from doing your own thing without worrying what others will think. Simply it comes from breaking away from the norm in any way that feels normal to you. So whenever you feel a sense of FOMO, add some joy or may I say JOMO into your life. Think about how, where and why you feel. There is no winners in the game of emotions, because rather thieves (people and things) when it comes to our emotions. Play the game of emotions, but don’t be played by your emotions. Emotions may not make sense but that’s okay. It is okay not to be okay. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to hurt. It is okay to heal. It is okay to be happy again because no matter how bloom or doom your life looks in this moment, you can always find a friend in JOMO, or rather Joy.

3. Enjoying Joy in All Life’s Complexities

Enjoying joy can be quite simple and hard at times. So I am here to help you enjoy joy despite all the complexities life will bring your way. One thing that will help you find joy is creating a physical trigger that stimulates a memory whenever you need it. While people and things can leave you, joy will always be by your side to lift you up. Anyway the first step you can take i by recalling a moment where you felt truly content, full or satisfied. Then you will want to close your eyes and build on that memory that comes to mind with colors, sounds, feelings and sensations. Take a moment to fully let yourself sink into that joy you once felt and experience it until it becomes vivid and as real as it can be. Next, you can find a point on your body, you can either do this discretely or in public, your choice, but you will want to find a point on your body where you can apply pressure until the realness and rawness of the memory passes. You can do this by pushing your two fingers together, then once the feeling has faded off into existence you can sit still for a few breaths before you test yet again this new found place of joy. And then again, apply pressure to that point on your body and if you get the same feeling without any thought or action that means joy is here to stay.

While these are merely suggestions of how you can add joy into your life, you can find ways to add joy into your life that will best fit your mindset, lifestyle and needs. Understanding that joy may look different to you than me. Joy can and will always be a commonality that can connect us to each human being. So smile and enjoy the eminence of this life we get to live.

Enjoy the joy!!

Something to Someone

From now on, I have decided I will be writing a blog post every Monday dedicated to Mental Health called Mental Monday because many of us ourself, a dear friend or a loved one deals with some form of mental health. I do not want to refer to mental health as an issue, rather I am hoping to break down the stigma surrounding it because what better world would this be if we were allowed to express ourself and how we felt, instead of bottling it all up. So each Monday will be a message in a bottle to let you know you matter, and your mental health also does too. Starting with this Monday I wanted to start of the week with letting you know you are something to someone, even if you feel alone. You are never nothing to no one, but something to someone and much more. My dear, the one who is reading this, this poem in all its’ entirety (words & emotions) is for you:

Something to Someone

Nothing to No One

Anything to Anyone

Everything to Everyone

I just want to be something to someone

Not nothing to no one

And anything to anyone

Even Everything to Everyone

But I know I am not the only one

who see’s the rain in the rainbow

the sun in the sunshine

and the dark in the darkness of the night sky

the sunsets before the sunrises

I see a day before me

I see the hours as they disappear by

I count the months as they pass me by

I bring years with me

And I feel I have decades to go

But what if I only had today and not tomorrow

Would I be something for someone,

nothing to no one,

not anything to anyone,

but everything to everyone?

I guess I am not the only one,

The only one who feels

lost and found in a world

of selfies and likes

and each other’s highlight reels,

since the real of reality

is we are all searching to find

our identity

our community

our city

I guess that is why me is a part of home

Finding your home within the masses

of lost and found people & places

But within those spaces

you will find traces of faces

who let you know you are something to someone,

maybe even someone’s something

and that you are not nothing to no one

anything to anyone,

but everything to everyone who knows you.

I wrote this poem to celebrate who we are as individuals. I know many of us feel disconnected in a connected world. Many of us deal with anxiety and depression in part to the world we live in, and in part to social media. While social media is something most of us use, it can cause many of us including myself to not feel like we are successful enough, fit enough, pretty enough or simply enough. In writing this poem I wanted and want you to know you are enough on days that are tough, and on days where everything is going right. Life comes in waves but if you can ride the tide you will come to realize there is always people by your side (even if feel alone) that will swim depths for you (and keep your head above water). So let these words sink in because sometimes we feel we will never make it through this season of our life, but believe me you will and you will always be something to someone (family, friends, followers, acquaintances and possible fur friends included).

I Am Deplorable

In this past week I have been mulling over the idea of how many of us feel like we are so disconnected in a connected world, and feel like our opinion does not matter. I have many conversations with friends who feel like they are stigmatized or simply feel alone in how they feel. So I thought why don’t we just stop beating around the bush and just speak our silence. In this moment of feeling lost, or why should I even share my voice, I felt this phrase “I Am Deplorable” repeat again and again in on my mind, no matter how hard I tried it would not go away. So I started creating a poem in my mind of how many of us myself include feel about the world we live in, while many of us may have different perspectives of what that may look like, this is what I came up with:

I Am Deplorable

I am deplorable…
I am deplorable to those around me
I am deplorable to my thoughts
I am deplorable to you,
I am deplorable to them,
I am deplorable to disconnected people,
in a supposedly connected world
where everyone thinks they are important
than the person right next to them
I am deplorable to capital America,
falling victim to consumerism
and unrealistic beauty standards
and a world where real issues seem fake
as our world continues to bake.


I am deplorable to the thought that
our body and voice matters
when clearly we still live in an age
where I am just another page in a book
the chapter the reader decided to skip,
so they could get to the end faster.


I am deplorable to slowing down
Because you got to keep up with the Jones
To stay relevant in our touch and go world
I am deplorable to likes and comments
And how many followers do you have?
Cause I could have many, but do not feel like
Anyone really cares anymore
We just focus on the before and after
Not the now and forever.


I am deplorable to not appreciating those close
To me
Because of fear of missing out.


I am deplorable to my phone
My computer
My credit card
Because if there was no me
Then what would this world be
Would people know they are seen,
Heard and loved
Cause I guess you cannot say hi
Without feeling like the person you are talking with
wants to say goodbye.


I guess I am just deplorable to the idea
Of intimate relationships with those around me
Because we are more concerned about our dates
With fate
Our image
Our age
Our page in the story,
I wish we weren’t deplorable
But with every day I feel we are just
Pieces of paper
Posts of captured moments
And no longer living in the moment
But rather building tents of intent
Intent to be better than the person next to them
Plenty of times, I bet you have felt deplorable
But you are capable of so much more
More than what you think this life has in store for you.