Moving On & Forward

Throughout my entire existence, I have like many of you had to leave people and things in the past that are no longer serving me. While I do not like to let people down or cut off communication, at times it is (has been) the best for me and those involved. On the flip side, I have been blindsided when it comes to those moving on and forward from me, like what did I do wrong, is who I am just not good enough or why did they just suddenly disappear from my life??? I know I am not the only one who has these questions swirling around in the head. I know so many go through life feeling like I am not okay or good enough, that is completely normal to feel the way you do. I am right there with you, and over the past quarter of century I have learned you have control over how you react, who and what you surround yourself with. While you may feel it is all out of your control, just know you have the power always to move on and forward from people, situations and things no longer serving you.

I wish I had someone told me this sooner, well there was a few, but me being stubborn I kept holding out hope and seeing the best in people and situations, when clearly that was not the reality. In reality, people most of the time are not thinking about you, they are thinking about themselves, so do not take it personally if it doesn’t workout how you thought it would. I feel everything eventually works out for the best for all involved.

If you feel just like you have yet to move on and forward. Take some time to think about how people and things are serving you in your life; are they bringing more negativity than positivity, bringing more doubt than inspiration or bringing more to themselves than to you?! Thinking about what it is all bringing you, and go from there in making your decisions. You can both be selfish and selfless without being self-sacrificing.

So if you are reading this and feel like there is someone or something that fits what I am saying, please take some time to think about what type of life you want, who do you want in it and where you want to be in sometime from now. I think if we sit back and reflect, we can see many patterns of people and things not serving us, but it is not my place to point that out to you, you have to figure that out for yourself, those close to you can only help so much. I will tell you this from experience, sometimes we just do not see it since we are so invested in that person or situation. My advice clear the air and see it all for what it is, if you cannot, eventually in time it will all workout.

I know that was a lot to unload on you, yet I feel many of us feel this way where we hold on to people that we should just let go of and move on from. I feel it is human nature to want people to like us and for things to go according to plan, but life is never a clear path, it is bunch of pathways coming together and diverging as you walk forward. Moving forward and on is never easy, yet you can learn so much about yourself and life from go through the most toughest of times. Because some of the most hardest of times are leading you to some of the best times in your life, just keep having hope and trusting that the process of life will always workout for the best, even if you do not see it now or some time ahead, keep going, you go this!

Moving forward and on, is not simply leaving your past behind but letting go of those and things that no longer fulfill you, so fill your cup with what matters to you and those who love you, and that will bring you the best fulfillment. Sending love, hugs and hope to all of you going through a time of moving on and forward!

Why Did You Go?

The past week of life has been like riding a rollercoaster to say the least, I ended an unhealthy, detrimental relationship, and for me not being further harassed that is what I will leave it at. I just want you to know, the person reading this, if you do not feel loved, accepted, or harassed, you have the power to leave and close the door on that person or even people in this case. I want you to know that is family is what you make out of it, that your friends can step in to be just that. And if you do not have many family or friends to lean on, know you will make it through whatever you may be facing. I know each of us are fighting a battle we do not share, or have struggled to make it through, so I award you for your strength for staying after being continuously hurt, broken down to pieces, you are now collecting like shattered glass beneath your feet. With each step you take, know deep down, trust in yourself that you are headed in the right direction, even if you feel you are not.

And while people may ask, why did you go? You can decide whether or not that deserves an answer. You have the power to stay or go. You have the strength to overcome what or whoever may have brought or is bringing you down, know you can always rise up from the deepest of depths. I commend each of you for chasing after what your sets your soul on fire, and if you do not know what that is, keep going, you will find it. I believe each of us have a reason to be here, yet have a reason to choose who we surround ourself with. I know leaving can be so hard, especially when there is a lengthy and close relationship you are attached to. I know cutting ties is not easy when so many knots have been tied, making it hard to cut through all that has left you tied to a person or a situation. I hope you know that you have the courage to speak up, express your true self and walk away from people who continue to judge and bring you down, time after time, simply let go and move on.

I hope you know letting go can be a form of forgiveness, yet not forgetting. You can always learn from what went wrong in your past, and choose what feels right for your future. You know yourself best. Those who truly care for you, will not hold you back but rather love you unconditionally and want the best for you. So whatever or whoever is holding you back, let them go, move forward. If you feel you are not making progress, or a change, those small steps and choices will lead you to the greatest moments and accomplishments in your life. So if they ask you, why did you go? You can just say life is too short to not stay true to who you are, what you want out of life and how you build the legacy you will one day leave behind?

So, why did you go? Well I would say that I stopped running back to and started stepping towards, and venturing the path that has always been in front of me, we all take different pathways in life, but we choose the paths we continue to venture on or pave the path we know walk on. Life is a truly a journey, find the little moments of joy when you can, cherish and enjoy it, since it all eventually ends just as it has begun, so run towards the moments, places and people who make you feel at home, no matter where you go, what you do, who and how you become as a human being.

PS you do not need to provide an answer to every question, you can simply allow your actions to speak the words you or others choose to say about you. Life your life unapologetically by being you, being kind and and always being one of a kind, that’s the MILDLY ME within you to be whoever you damn please while being still sweet as honey with the sting of the bee, never once again, forgetting to BE KIND!

Getting Through

Somedays like today felt like I was simply trying to get through. I know many of you reading this feel this way at times, when you are just trying to get to the next day. I know each day brings its’ own set of triumphs, struggles or mediocrities. Knowing we do not have to be perfect but to be just who we are is sometimes we all need to hear. I feel many of us are trying to live up to standards (from society, media, loved ones and ourself) that are simply unattainable. That is okay.

It is okay to not feel like you are reaching new heights. It is okay to not be checking off checklist items off your daily list of tasks. It is okay to not know who you are yet. All of the things and people we struggle with are forming us into who we are and how we choose to treat those around us. So getting through isn’t just getting by. It is someone who may be have been on a never ending run where the finish line keeps getting moved up, just as they get close. It is someone who may have poured heart out to their crush to only be rejected. It someone who may be struggling to just get up in the morning and roll out of bed to live another day on the hamster wheel of life, so many of us continue to roll on and fall of of. It is not knowing what is next that can stop someone from going forward out of paralyzing anxiety, or fear they are not good enough.

Some say fake it to you’ll make it, yet I believe those who even say that are afraid too. We are all scared of what maybe the next day, month or year may hold, but we have is now, each other and ourself. So if no one has told you this, getting through will always be good enough. You are never too much or too little, you are just right for those who truly love and care about you. Getting through yet another let down means you are being set up for some of the greatest moments.

Don’t lose yourself in a sea of a doubt, and if you feel lost, I am sending and throwing out a life raft to you to remind you, you matter, your thoughts are valid and your dreams can become a reality. Just keep believing, because there are many who have faith in you and know that getting through will lead you right to them. Keep pushing, keep challenging all that constrains you and keep going, you’ll get through, I got you hun, you are right around the corner of getting through and to all that is meant for you, which is far greater than you may have ever imagined, you are magical in simply being just you, if they discount you, you are getting through to me. Getting through to all the doubters. Getting through your own self doubt. Getting through all the negativity to finally to grasp on to and see the light of getting through the darkness that once haunted you. Getting through goes beyond just beginning, middle and end of one’s life story. You have the power to rewrite your story, make memories you cherish beyond time and live each moment this life gives you with intent.

Unstable: Mental Health Struggles

After writing the first sentence then consequentially deleting it time after time, I thought about how I should talk about my own struggles with mental health. While each person’s journey is different with mental health, mine has been one I have dealt from when I was very young. I can think back to when I was a young kid and would ask the universe why am I here, it would be so easier if I was not. I felt like I was complicating the lives of those around me, that I constantly had to prove and stand up for myself when no one was. I was told by dad to not express my emotions, that how I thought was invalid and would never be enough.

After years of living in a toxic, unhealthy environment growing up I decided to stand up for myself, only to feel yet again like I was the perpetrator, not once have I felt listened to and that was hard. Unfourtunately, this parental relationship led me to feeling depressed, suicidal at points. And when one of my close friends tried to take their own life, and I expressed how I felt pain for this friend and was beyond heartbroken over this situation, I was told yet again to not express my emotions and that one taking their own life is the easy way out. While there are many experiences I can speak to with my mental health, I feel it is not my place to spew that out to you, the person reading this. I feel many of our mental health struggles come from the relationships we have with those close to us, or experiencing something traumatic. We all process trauma different, we all see the world different and at times we feel different for being simply who we are.

I know mental health is something many of us feel we are stigmatized for, rather than it being an open conversation between health professionals, or even family and friends. I do not feel our mental health struggle should be labeled yet something we should feel to either speak or not to about. I do feel by openly talking about the struggles you face with mental health you can help not only yourself, but those around you who may be going or have gone through something similar. I also feel that you should speak to someone you trust or professional about what you are going through, since there are people out there who care and want to listen. I have learned to speak with family and friends more about my struggles, and they have been there to offer a hug and be an ear to listen to. While you may feel you are alone, who you are does not matter and what you do holds no purpose, that is farther from the truth, I and so many care about you. If you are hurting, please reach out to someone you trust or even me, I am here to listen and not judge.

I feel with social media, so many societal and family pressures, we as humans can be pushed to our limits. Do know you set those boundaries, if someone decides to continuously walk over that line, you hold the power to express where you stand. Stand up for yourself and others, even if you feel you well be broken down and picked a part. Having a heart that beats, a mind that thinks and a body that moves will continue to push you forward pass the things and people who will try to hold you back.

Keep going, feel your emotions and express your truth without regret, because as Maya Angelou said, ““I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” So, keep pushing forward, take each day by day, take each step by step and before you know it, you will be at the finish lines you never thought you would cross with the people who never left your side along the way, and continued to cheer you on, no matter how many times you wanted to give up along the way. Remember, you have the spark to set a fire ablaze and float away with the ambers, embark and blaze your own path and be around even when the stars fade and the smoke blurs what might have always been there, you!

PS I hope to share more of my journey with mental health with time. Please remember mental health is a journey, and should be right up there with your physical health. Never loose faith in yourself, in others or in society, there are always hope and people out there who will catch you if you fall. You may be in a fight or a constant battle with your mental health, be defeated time after time, never give up, keep going, I got you!

Accountability

Lately I have been thinking about accountability. I have been thinking about what accountability means in the context of being consistent, and how to keep motivation when you clearly do not have it. I myself tend to use a list where I can check off things as I go throughout my day or even week, yet lately I have been finding myself not having the energy to get around to all those things. So you, the person on the other side reading this, what do you do to keep motivation? And how do you stay consistent? And what are some things you do to keep that fire within you to fuel you?

Like I have read so many books on things on this, yet I want to hear about real life experiences from people like you on how to have overcome writers block, maybe a slight bump in the road or just a lack of energy to go after things you want. I truly wonder how some of you frame accountability in your mind, and what motivation looks like to you? Does it look like you keeping yourself on a schedule, or does it more like a daily check in with yourself to see whether you are up to today’s tasks and challenges?

While the Internet is a nice place to turn to with these questions, I want to reiterate this for probably meh the third time (third times the charm, right?!?!?!), how do you hold yourself accountable, what does accountability look like to you and does accountability, consistency and motivation all go together, or am I just missing something here. Please hold me accountable, and help a girl out (it will be much appreciated).

Making Amends

About a few weeks ago, I made amends with my past. I texted people who we didn’t leave off on the right foot or note. I also made a pact to myself to put my happiness first. While the past year of my life has been quite wild to say the least, I have learned a lot and realized that sometimes you won’t always have all the answers to what you want out of life and how people treat you. I will never understand people who simply leave you on read or cut you out of your life without no explanation. I will never understand how a person cannot just recognize what you said as you did for them. I will never understand why people try to be someone they are not, when they simply should be themselves.

While there are many things I do not understand as many of us probably will never make sense out of, I have realized with time, most of the time, you are happy to leave your past in the past, and honestly to leave some in your past. I have realized that you have a say in who and what you allow in your life. I have realized that you can be content, without making everyone happy. I have realized I know myself, my mind and heart better than I thought. I feel with age and experiences, we learn to extend an olive branch rather than burning bridges with those who burnt you, or left scars with their ruthlessness. I feel that at times you have to make amends with yourself, before you can make amends with someone else.

Making amends is not simple, but a makeshift process, where you have to take your time and put the pieces together so you can fully heal. Healing is not a linear process, but rather you continuing to follow the path in front of you while venturing off to check out the places along the way. We have control over the path we choose to pave, and who we choose to give our energy too. I love to help people but have realized some people, one person in particular (some of you know) just continued to drain me, I am beyond thankful they walked out of my life, since my life has truly been so much better without them in it. I have wanted some to stay, while they choose to leave. Life is a lot like the seasons, we change as the weather do and evolve as environment does too. So if you are reading this, know that you can move on and do not have to forgive, rather make amends and choose to be indifferent to those who wronged you. Some times, things in life have to go wrong before they can go right, and how boring would it be if we didn’t get lost, then found. We all arrive at different times to where we are meant to be, so take time and break free from all that holds you back. Seriously though, it is really f*cking awesome to let go of all you are holding on to.

Tend to time as it ticks on, Mend your heart as it beats on, Lend an olive branch and make amends!

Happy you are here

I thought about writing the 12 others things I have learned thus far in my 25 years on this Earth, but then I thought there is one thing that encompasses all of those things, while the obvious answer may be ME, it is not. The one thing that encapsulates all of these things is growth. Growth in the sense that we are always growing through what we have gone and are currently going through in life. While that may look different from one person to the next, there is something you can always take away and learn from life, even if it does not make sense in the meantime. As I sat down to write this, I thought about what has this past year of life meant, and honestly what the hell has 2020 meant?!?! Like seriously, what is going on. And all I know is me, you, and the universe is going through a lot of growth, while that can be uncomfortable and sad at times, there is always good things to come and lessons to be learned. Simply put never stop growing and letting those around you know that you are HAPPY TO BE HERE.

And while happiness is this complex, ubiquitous word that we all talk about and hope to have, I have learned with time that happiness sometimes looks like a piece of the puzzle. In the sense we each have a piece of the puzzle to bring to be a part of each other’s happiness, whether that is in the meantime or lifetime, just being here in this moment of time and existing as you are will always be enough. Recently, well about a month ago, I connected with someone who truly changed and feel will continue to change my life with their truth. In our paths crossing, this person taught me so much about life, and that you are not alone in what you go through. And that maybe, we were meant to come into each other’s life for reasons both of us will never understand, or maybe ever know. The one thing I am sure of in my heart, and in my gut is that I never want to loose that connection, despite where our paths go. Finding a real, genuine connection in this world is hard, since we are all scared of what the other person may think of or if they may see our baggage as their luggage. But the thing is you aren’t any of that when you feel like you are home, in a place of a person where you feel comfortable to express who you truly are and sharing how you are still stumbling through life to find who you are.

Life is not a race, where you have to rush to get to the finish line, rather we all need to just pace ourself and enjoy the journey we are on. And maybe we just need to stop comparing ourselves to the person next to us, even if they look a few steps ahead or are fading into the background as we continue to put one foot in front of another. I guess what I am trying to say is, people like me or maybe the person reading this, we are runners. We run away when things seem too good. We run when we feel like we are wasting our time, when time is never wasted but cherished. We run each day to get to places we ought think we need to go based on what society tells us, when we should just let our heart run wild and free. But if you keep running away from all that is good and worthwhile, you will be left feeling like I am, empty and confused as to where I should go or what should I do next. When all I needed to do was stop running and to enjoy the journey. I sometimes wonder if we become more focused on the journey, that we simply don’t enjoy the process and the joy that it brings us.

So be happy you are here…. yes that is so simple to say, yet so hard to believe. Why is that, since we overthink every step we think it will take us to get to where we want to go, when we should simply enjoy each step we get to take on this path we are on. In talking with this person, the phrase Pathways kept popping into my mind and I started to think the many pathways, each of us have taken, me, you and all of us. Our pathways are so different, yet so similar since we arrived here reading this and connecting with one another. Maybe all we are lacking in this world is realizing that while our pathways are all heading in different directions, we can still come back and arrive at a common place of wanting to feel loved, understood and growing to become better with each day. So what pathway will you take, and where will you pave your pathway, who do you want to bring on that pathway and when will you let your pathway lead the way, and why wouldn’t you be proud of that pathway you are on?! Think to yourself, and if you aren’t content, then starting paving your own damn pathway in life, you will look back and be happy you did. So let the kid inside of you be curious, the teen inside of you be complicated and the adult inside of you be courageous enough to pave that pathway. Last but not least, let’s get back to what HAPPY YOU ARE HERE all means, well let me do what I do to reflect and hopefully offer insight to you, is well by writing a poem. So here is the poem for you, because simply put, I am beyond HAPPY YOU ARE HERE:

Happy You Are Here

Happy You Are Here

The Person Reading This

The Lessons Learned

The Seasons Passed

The Sessions Completed

The Tunes Listened To

The Words Written

I am “Happy You Are Here”

The Person Writing This

Who Are You? (Who Do You Want To Be?)

Where Are You? (Where Do You Want To Go?)

Why Do I Care? (Why Should I Care?)

How Are You? (How Were You Before?)

What Are You? (What Were You After?)

When You….??? (When Will You Be?)

You Asked Questions, Yet I Don’t Have the Answer

But I know,

You are “Happy You Are Here”

But what about him or her

But why I do feel hurt, yet not healed

But who will I be, I am scared

Scared about never being enough

Well, We Are “Happy You Are Here”

Why Are You Happy?

Well What Made You So Sad?

And When Will You No Longer Be Mad?

And Who Will Make You Glad?

Tell me Where You Are At?

But I am lost

You Are Not, I found You

But I am Mess

You Are a Stain of Pain, Yet I found my Silver Lining

But I keep giving you mixed signals

You Should Really Go, I don’t have to, you gave me the directions

We Should Stop, Time can’t heal all wounds, I don’t want to Hurt You

You Won’t, I’ll patch you to heal so you can be really who you want to be

But What About If I Am Wrong, You Have Always Been Right

And I Want to Move Forward, But I Keep Getting Pulled Back

Let go, Let go with each day, each moment and live this life with intent

But What About If I Can’t Shield You, You Don’t Have To

Well Why Is That?

Because see, that person, they are “Happy You Are Here”

Wait They Are, Why Would They Think That?

Well we saw where you came from, and what brought you here, my dear..

We saw the fear in your eyes.

We witnessed the gears you shifted through to find what felt right.

We captured the shear strength you had to make it here.

Wait What Do You Mean?

Honey, we are “Happy You Are Here”

When Did You Think That?

We stopped thinking about them, and started with the thought of you.

Where Did This All Come From?

We kept going, going and never stopped to see we were passing right by all that you said and meant. We can’t keep living a lie, we now know we have to live the truth.

The truth of a lie? No that’s FALSE

Then, WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?

WELL MEANING HAS NO SUBSTANCE, IF YOU AREN’T HERE

You said that when I was there and now here

Where did I go Wrong?

You were always right, you always had it all in front of you, it just took you time and will continue to, with each day my sweet dear you will find fear makes a pact with courage, with each moment you will find you have to go through hell to have a piece of heaven, and with each memory you find a story you get to tell as what used to be fades and you are made into who you were and where you were meant to always be… right here, not there, but here, what where I am, you are here, where is here, it is right there, and what does this all mean??? We may never know, so slow down son, take each step day by day, because this moment brought you to today…. and simply said..

WE ARE “HAPPY YOU ARE HERE”… Glad you could join us… yet we never left.

PS this poem was written to reflect how many of us experience the feeling of overthinking, looking back and forward, wondering why we can’t keep pace in the race of life, and pondering why the finish line keeps getting moved every time we run towards an idea of where we ought to think we should go to feel completed. Yet all we should remember in this moment, is to be HAPPY WE ARE HERE, ENJOYING THE PAIN, MESS, HAPPINESS, DISDAIN, AND THE GRAIN OF GRACE LIFE WILL BRING US AS WE CONTINUE TO GROW INTO WHO WERE ALWAYS MEANT TO BE…. SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE!! (CAPS & CHEERS INCLUDED)

Marchin' On

It has been awhile since I last wrote a blog post. It was actually two months til this day that I remember writing a blog post about telling my side of the story in a heartbreak. But now that it has been two months and things have quite changed, I thought I hop on here to tell you how you can or how I have been marching on through these truly unknown times.

They say moving on from a heartbreak takes time and I would have to totally agree but it also takes a good amount of healing. See I did not know what it felt like to lose someone I cared and still care so much for until well it happened. I felt a sense of abandonment and have felt quite alone during this time in my life, not just from the Coronavirus. In being alone I learned no one can make me happy, except for myself. So now and going forward I am learning that it is okay for me to not always people please. Noticing that most of my life I have spent trying to make those around me happy while letting my own happiness suffer. No matter what life looks like in this season, I want to work on being my own best cheerleader and going after things and experiences I have always wanted to, and I challenge you to do the same.

As for this whole coronavirus thing, I honestly feel a sense of anxiety and depression for our world, our country and my community, because I see the various ways people’s lives are being affected, whether they be those in the healthcare field or a college student. Right now life feels more uncertain than ever. But in all honesty it has felt like that for me since this year began. I knew from the beginning of this year that I didn’t know what my then relationship held, my future held and really who I was becoming. I like to say with time we lose pieces of who we are, but in all honesty I think we just get scarred and hugged by experiences and memories. I like to say I am moving on…. but with each day I feel like I am marching through a war zone of uncertain emotions, feelings and times. At this time, deep down in my gut, heart and mind I know what is right for me, but would I rather be hurt or be vulnerable, I still cannot decide. Maybe when I finally decide, it will be too late or maybe just a tad too early. But I guess time can only tell how we will march on from this pandemic and the own battles we continue to fight and win with ourselves.

If I could say one thing, it would be to continue marchin’ on with kindness, love, acceptance, and gratefulness for those around you, close and far away.

Learning to Let Go

Over the past month and half I have been processing through some emotions, and some things. As you step through life, stepping in and out, sometime in between those steps, you notice what you need to take with you and what you need to let go of. While making those steps, you learn who you are, what you want and maybe why you feel the way you do. So as I make these steps going forward, I am realizing there is something, or many things I need to let go of.

First, I need to let go of the feeling of not being wanted. I know I am cared and wanted by so many. But there are many days were I feel alone, crying and hurting, that truly no one cares. While this may be a surprise to those of you who do not know me that well, I wanted to let you know that you should always touch base with those you love and care about, because you never know what is going on behind the confined doors of social media. So truly I need to let go of this feeling that no one cares, because I know there are, whether only few who do care about me and my well-being and that is all should matter. Never forget, you matter and what you are feeling is valid, no matter how crazy someone may think or say it is — YOU MATTER!

Second, I found that I need to let go of a relationship that was no longer fulfilling me but rather crushing me. Lately I have been feeling that no matter how many times I attempt to put back the pieces that have been crushed, they just don’t fit and keep falling out of place. Maybe this is a sign that sometimes the one you have been holding so close, you just need to let them go. While letting go of someone who has seen you at some real shitty lows and amazing highs is beyond imaginable, I know I got this as I say this feeling beyond muddled and sunken in emotions. Sometimes stepping away and letting one go is the best you can do, not only for yourself but for maybe or hopefully for them too.

Third, I found I need to let go of social media. While this may not be easy, it is something I need to do and step away from because my mental health has suffered from it. Seeking approval from followers or likes seems to be what is next to seeking approval from our peers and mentors as we typically in do real life. So enough with social media. As of now, I am deciding I will only be on social media to share my blog posts, so if I do not like or comment on your recent post, please do not take it personally. So bye Instagram and Facebook for the time being, while I say I will miss you, at the same time I find it best that you take a break from seeking approval from fleeting likes, followers and I guess friends too.

While letting go of stuff, people and moments may be hard in the meantime. At this point in time, it is something I really need to do in order to get back on track to feeling like me, the girl who is and only should be living her life on her terms, no one else’s. Well anyway, if you are feeling the way I am or go through something that is bodging you down, I would highly suggest letting go of that thing, thought or person because if you never do, you will never know what else you could let in that could really change your life and help you step in to where you want to go.

Stepping into A New Year

While the chapter of 2019 has officially closed and the chapter of 2020 has officially began. I thought I would start this year off by not sharing my resolutions at all, since I really wanted to focus on how you can step into a new year or start to make the changes you want in your life.

And while the start of this year has left me feeling awfully low, I know in my heart of hearts that this year is going to be good. Good in the sense that I went through a crap ton of growth in 2019, and maybe you have too. But do know that we grow and things can and will get better. If you do not think so, I am here for you.

I am here not only stepping into what this year has to bring, but starting to take action on goals I have had for myself for a very long time. Goals as silly as simply get enough sleep and working out more, things that many of us may already had incorporated into our daily routine. But with my health being on a roller coaster I have seen how it is affecting those closest to me. And how seeking out help isn’t the worst thing to do for yourself if you are really in need of sorting through emotions and feelings you have or are having. Never feel like your feelings or emotions are not valid, because they are. Anyway looking back, I have really hurt many people and treated people not as nice as I want to due to my own insecurities. This year I am really work on putting myself first and seeking out help in getting myself better. And you should always know you are a work in progress.

So as I step into 2020, I am really looking to not only reflect on the steps I took to get here, but the pathways I want to take to where I am heading. I hope you will, because to truly make your goals and intentions come true you need to look where you are at. And in the time being, if you are really wanting to make a change in your life, you need to make that goal and intention a standard in your life.

While I do not know what the future will hold, I know it is going to be good and that 2020 is not only a new decade, a new year but a new beginning in so many ways for many us.

Cherish the footprints left & the steps you are taking.

Sincerely,

Someone