3 Simple Ways to Add Joy Into Your Life

I used to think joy was brought to me through people and things, but as I grow and get older, I realize joy can simply come from within and finding moments within your day to practice joy. Little did I know that my mom buying me a book called, Breathe Gratitude would show me how to do just this. I highly suggest you have this book in your life, even if you do not think you need it because I honestly thought I knew how to practice gratitude and all that is involved. Well anyway enough of me babbling on, let’s jump into 3 simple to the point ways you can add joy into your life, no matter how hectic your life may look. I got you boo.

1. Finding the Joy to Enjoy

In each day, whether you are having the best or worst day, you can always find the joy in enjoy. What I mean is you can feel like you have no control over your emotions, but you do. You do have the power to find the joy in a crappy day, as little as it may be. There is always something you can count your blessings for. Once you do, hold onto it and remember to hold it tight to comfort or uplift you during the best and worst days. Joy will be there for you no matter what, people and things may not always be. So choose to spread joy with your spirit. Cause honey, listen, you are like no one else so celebrate the joy you bring to people’s lives. Because you do. Never forget to find joy in enjoying the best, okay and worst days of your life because they craft you in the person you are and hope to be. You got this and if you still don’t think so. I got your back and so does joy.

2. Stop with FOMO. Start with JOMO.

I am guessing you have heard of FOMO, Fear Of Missing Out, but you have not it simply refers to a fear of missing out when it comes to social settings or situations, especially when it comes to social media. I know I had and continue to deal with FOMO, especially when I jump onto Instagram and see on everyone’s highlight reel or posts that they are living their best life, or I catch myself comparing myself to influencers I do not even know. But what I have learned is I do not want my social media presence to be a highlight reel but a highlight real of what is going on my life, the good and bad because life isn’t always rainbows and dandies. So recently I have decided to go live and share in my posts, real life updates, not sugar coated or catchy captions because your girl wants to be real and create genuine connections. Anyway enough about me and FOMO. Simply put boo, stop with FOMO and start with JOMO… wait what’s JOMO?

Well I am glad you asked, JOMO is the Joy Of Missing Out, which means paying attention to the moments of joy. While Joy is often sold as something that can be bought, consumed or won by being popular and meeting the expectations of conformity. Real joy actually comes from doing your own thing without worrying what others will think. Simply it comes from breaking away from the norm in any way that feels normal to you. So whenever you feel a sense of FOMO, add some joy or may I say JOMO into your life. Think about how, where and why you feel. There is no winners in the game of emotions, because rather thieves (people and things) when it comes to our emotions. Play the game of emotions, but don’t be played by your emotions. Emotions may not make sense but that’s okay. It is okay not to be okay. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to hurt. It is okay to heal. It is okay to be happy again because no matter how bloom or doom your life looks in this moment, you can always find a friend in JOMO, or rather Joy.

3. Enjoying Joy in All Life’s Complexities

Enjoying joy can be quite simple and hard at times. So I am here to help you enjoy joy despite all the complexities life will bring your way. One thing that will help you find joy is creating a physical trigger that stimulates a memory whenever you need it. While people and things can leave you, joy will always be by your side to lift you up. Anyway the first step you can take i by recalling a moment where you felt truly content, full or satisfied. Then you will want to close your eyes and build on that memory that comes to mind with colors, sounds, feelings and sensations. Take a moment to fully let yourself sink into that joy you once felt and experience it until it becomes vivid and as real as it can be. Next, you can find a point on your body, you can either do this discretely or in public, your choice, but you will want to find a point on your body where you can apply pressure until the realness and rawness of the memory passes. You can do this by pushing your two fingers together, then once the feeling has faded off into existence you can sit still for a few breaths before you test yet again this new found place of joy. And then again, apply pressure to that point on your body and if you get the same feeling without any thought or action that means joy is here to stay.

While these are merely suggestions of how you can add joy into your life, you can find ways to add joy into your life that will best fit your mindset, lifestyle and needs. Understanding that joy may look different to you than me. Joy can and will always be a commonality that can connect us to each human being. So smile and enjoy the eminence of this life we get to live.

Enjoy the joy!!

Something to Someone

From now on, I have decided I will be writing a blog post every Monday dedicated to Mental Health called Mental Monday because many of us ourself, a dear friend or a loved one deals with some form of mental health. I do not want to refer to mental health as an issue, rather I am hoping to break down the stigma surrounding it because what better world would this be if we were allowed to express ourself and how we felt, instead of bottling it all up. So each Monday will be a message in a bottle to let you know you matter, and your mental health also does too. Starting with this Monday I wanted to start of the week with letting you know you are something to someone, even if you feel alone. You are never nothing to no one, but something to someone and much more. My dear, the one who is reading this, this poem in all its’ entirety (words & emotions) is for you:

Something to Someone

Nothing to No One

Anything to Anyone

Everything to Everyone

I just want to be something to someone

Not nothing to no one

And anything to anyone

Even Everything to Everyone

But I know I am not the only one

who see’s the rain in the rainbow

the sun in the sunshine

and the dark in the darkness of the night sky

the sunsets before the sunrises

I see a day before me

I see the hours as they disappear by

I count the months as they pass me by

I bring years with me

And I feel I have decades to go

But what if I only had today and not tomorrow

Would I be something for someone,

nothing to no one,

not anything to anyone,

but everything to everyone?

I guess I am not the only one,

The only one who feels

lost and found in a world

of selfies and likes

and each other’s highlight reels,

since the real of reality

is we are all searching to find

our identity

our community

our city

I guess that is why me is a part of home

Finding your home within the masses

of lost and found people & places

But within those spaces

you will find traces of faces

who let you know you are something to someone,

maybe even someone’s something

and that you are not nothing to no one

anything to anyone,

but everything to everyone who knows you.

I wrote this poem to celebrate who we are as individuals. I know many of us feel disconnected in a connected world. Many of us deal with anxiety and depression in part to the world we live in, and in part to social media. While social media is something most of us use, it can cause many of us including myself to not feel like we are successful enough, fit enough, pretty enough or simply enough. In writing this poem I wanted and want you to know you are enough on days that are tough, and on days where everything is going right. Life comes in waves but if you can ride the tide you will come to realize there is always people by your side (even if feel alone) that will swim depths for you (and keep your head above water). So let these words sink in because sometimes we feel we will never make it through this season of our life, but believe me you will and you will always be something to someone (family, friends, followers, acquaintances and possible fur friends included).

Be-leaf in Yourself

Over the past week, I came down with a nasty head cold and clogged ears. I literally felt like I was in a fish bowl anytime I talked because all I heard was my voice echoing back. But during that time, I realized something that yes you cannot hear well with clogged ears, but many of us are living in our own fish bowl. A fish bowl of expectations of what we expect from ourself and those around us. A fish bowl of filtered down messages tailored to fit us. A fish bowl of feeling stuck within the limits we put on ourselves. A fish bowl where I finally broke it and let the glass shatter of relationships and realizations. Realizing we tend to feel we are stuck inside a fish bowl of who we think we should be and what our next step should be, when being a fish out of water can teach you more than being the catch of the day.

Today, I shattered the damn fish bowl and started this week off with what I self proclaim as a Mindset Monday. I felt one text message from a friend turning a switch on in my mind that sometimes you got to let people and thoughts go like Fall leaves. Leaving behind all that has held you back and stepping into a new season of your life. A season where the leaves are so colorful, yet so rustic. A season where you can change with the leaves , yet be rooted in who you are. A season where learning life’s lessons looks a lot like the leaves in between fall and winter. A season where be-leafing in yourself , embracing your real, colorful and crumbling self can help you fall into a new season of life.

P.S. This autumn, do not forget to be-leaf in yourself and fall more in love with who you are.

I Am Deplorable

In this past week I have been mulling over the idea of how many of us feel like we are so disconnected in a connected world, and feel like our opinion does not matter. I have many conversations with friends who feel like they are stigmatized or simply feel alone in how they feel. So I thought why don’t we just stop beating around the bush and just speak our silence. In this moment of feeling lost, or why should I even share my voice, I felt this phrase “I Am Deplorable” repeat again and again in on my mind, no matter how hard I tried it would not go away. So I started creating a poem in my mind of how many of us myself include feel about the world we live in, while many of us may have different perspectives of what that may look like, this is what I came up with:

I Am Deplorable

I am deplorable…
I am deplorable to those around me
I am deplorable to my thoughts
I am deplorable to you,
I am deplorable to them,
I am deplorable to disconnected people,
in a supposedly connected world
where everyone thinks they are important
than the person right next to them
I am deplorable to capital America,
falling victim to consumerism
and unrealistic beauty standards
and a world where real issues seem fake
as our world continues to bake.


I am deplorable to the thought that
our body and voice matters
when clearly we still live in an age
where I am just another page in a book
the chapter the reader decided to skip,
so they could get to the end faster.


I am deplorable to slowing down
Because you got to keep up with the Jones
To stay relevant in our touch and go world
I am deplorable to likes and comments
And how many followers do you have?
Cause I could have many, but do not feel like
Anyone really cares anymore
We just focus on the before and after
Not the now and forever.


I am deplorable to not appreciating those close
To me
Because of fear of missing out.


I am deplorable to my phone
My computer
My credit card
Because if there was no me
Then what would this world be
Would people know they are seen,
Heard and loved
Cause I guess you cannot say hi
Without feeling like the person you are talking with
wants to say goodbye.


I guess I am just deplorable to the idea
Of intimate relationships with those around me
Because we are more concerned about our dates
With fate
Our image
Our age
Our page in the story,
I wish we weren’t deplorable
But with every day I feel we are just
Pieces of paper
Posts of captured moments
And no longer living in the moment
But rather building tents of intent
Intent to be better than the person next to them
Plenty of times, I bet you have felt deplorable
But you are capable of so much more
More than what you think this life has in store for you.

The 23rd Year Of Me

Today I turn 24 and close the chapter of the 23rd year of my life. During this year, I learned so much about myself and life. I learned you cannot count on those who thought you could. And found out that people’s perceptions of you may not ring true to what you are and actually went through. I found this to ring true when I found myself in a position where those around me thought what I was doing awesome, which I thought too. Only I later found out through the first eight months of my 23rd year I would be riding a rollercoaster. A rollercoaster of some major ups and pitfall downfalls, where there were days I felt truly alone. Since I guess standing up for yourself and something that is not right means you reap the result of victim blaming. In this raw and cutting part of my story, I related to those who faced similar stories and decided it was time for me to leave that chapter of my life behind me. And leaving that part of this chapter behind allowed me to move on and write a much better and happier chapter. A chapter where I stepped away from social media and focused on what makes me happy and that is how Mildly Me came about. I decided I always wanted to start a blog where I could celebrate self-expression. Allowing each and every one who visits this blog to embrace what make them who they are. So today I embark on another year of life and invite you to be a part of embracing what makes you, welcome to Mildly Me my dear.

Blossoming into Who I Want To Be

Life is a garden and we are seeds planted among flowers where weeds grow, and we grow through what we go through. Taking one day at a time to blossom into who I want to be.

A seed planted among a garden, where flowers bloom and weeds grow.

Mildly Me

Mildly Me

“They told me to be you, when all I want is to be Mildly Me”

Mildly Me

Throughout the year, I went through a great amount of transitions from a new job , new friends and new experiences. Through this all, I found myself in the midst of the madness. I realized I did not need to be anyone else, but me. Embracing all of you, the good and bad can be oh so liberating.

Learning you can let go of those and the things holding you back, and celebrating those and what lifts you up. Sometimes being mildly you, just takes that one step, one voice and one word to embrace the body, face and heart you have that makes you different from the rest. The best thing about life is not being me or them or whoever, but your own version of mildly me.

Mildly Me