Happy you are here

I thought about writing the 12 others things I have learned thus far in my 25 years on this Earth, but then I thought there is one thing that encompasses all of those things, while the obvious answer may be ME, it is not. The one thing that encapsulates all of these things is growth. Growth in the sense that we are always growing through what we have gone and are currently going through in life. While that may look different from one person to the next, there is something you can always take away and learn from life, even if it does not make sense in the meantime. As I sat down to write this, I thought about what has this past year of life meant, and honestly what the hell has 2020 meant?!?! Like seriously, what is going on. And all I know is me, you, and the universe is going through a lot of growth, while that can be uncomfortable and sad at times, there is always good things to come and lessons to be learned. Simply put never stop growing and letting those around you know that you are HAPPY TO BE HERE.

And while happiness is this complex, ubiquitous word that we all talk about and hope to have, I have learned with time that happiness sometimes looks like a piece of the puzzle. In the sense we each have a piece of the puzzle to bring to be a part of each other’s happiness, whether that is in the meantime or lifetime, just being here in this moment of time and existing as you are will always be enough. Recently, well about a month ago, I connected with someone who truly changed and feel will continue to change my life with their truth. In our paths crossing, this person taught me so much about life, and that you are not alone in what you go through. And that maybe, we were meant to come into each other’s life for reasons both of us will never understand, or maybe ever know. The one thing I am sure of in my heart, and in my gut is that I never want to loose that connection, despite where our paths go. Finding a real, genuine connection in this world is hard, since we are all scared of what the other person may think of or if they may see our baggage as their luggage. But the thing is you aren’t any of that when you feel like you are home, in a place of a person where you feel comfortable to express who you truly are and sharing how you are still stumbling through life to find who you are.

Life is not a race, where you have to rush to get to the finish line, rather we all need to just pace ourself and enjoy the journey we are on. And maybe we just need to stop comparing ourselves to the person next to us, even if they look a few steps ahead or are fading into the background as we continue to put one foot in front of another. I guess what I am trying to say is, people like me or maybe the person reading this, we are runners. We run away when things seem too good. We run when we feel like we are wasting our time, when time is never wasted but cherished. We run each day to get to places we ought think we need to go based on what society tells us, when we should just let our heart run wild and free. But if you keep running away from all that is good and worthwhile, you will be left feeling like I am, empty and confused as to where I should go or what should I do next. When all I needed to do was stop running and to enjoy the journey. I sometimes wonder if we become more focused on the journey, that we simply don’t enjoy the process and the joy that it brings us.

So be happy you are here…. yes that is so simple to say, yet so hard to believe. Why is that, since we overthink every step we think it will take us to get to where we want to go, when we should simply enjoy each step we get to take on this path we are on. In talking with this person, the phrase Pathways kept popping into my mind and I started to think the many pathways, each of us have taken, me, you and all of us. Our pathways are so different, yet so similar since we arrived here reading this and connecting with one another. Maybe all we are lacking in this world is realizing that while our pathways are all heading in different directions, we can still come back and arrive at a common place of wanting to feel loved, understood and growing to become better with each day. So what pathway will you take, and where will you pave your pathway, who do you want to bring on that pathway and when will you let your pathway lead the way, and why wouldn’t you be proud of that pathway you are on?! Think to yourself, and if you aren’t content, then starting paving your own damn pathway in life, you will look back and be happy you did. So let the kid inside of you be curious, the teen inside of you be complicated and the adult inside of you be courageous enough to pave that pathway. Last but not least, let’s get back to what HAPPY YOU ARE HERE all means, well let me do what I do to reflect and hopefully offer insight to you, is well by writing a poem. So here is the poem for you, because simply put, I am beyond HAPPY YOU ARE HERE:

Happy You Are Here

Happy You Are Here

The Person Reading This

The Lessons Learned

The Seasons Passed

The Sessions Completed

The Tunes Listened To

The Words Written

I am “Happy You Are Here”

The Person Writing This

Who Are You? (Who Do You Want To Be?)

Where Are You? (Where Do You Want To Go?)

Why Do I Care? (Why Should I Care?)

How Are You? (How Were You Before?)

What Are You? (What Were You After?)

When You….??? (When Will You Be?)

You Asked Questions, Yet I Don’t Have the Answer

But I know,

You are “Happy You Are Here”

But what about him or her

But why I do feel hurt, yet not healed

But who will I be, I am scared

Scared about never being enough

Well, We Are “Happy You Are Here”

Why Are You Happy?

Well What Made You So Sad?

And When Will You No Longer Be Mad?

And Who Will Make You Glad?

Tell me Where You Are At?

But I am lost

You Are Not, I found You

But I am Mess

You Are a Stain of Pain, Yet I found my Silver Lining

But I keep giving you mixed signals

You Should Really Go, I don’t have to, you gave me the directions

We Should Stop, Time can’t heal all wounds, I don’t want to Hurt You

You Won’t, I’ll patch you to heal so you can be really who you want to be

But What About If I Am Wrong, You Have Always Been Right

And I Want to Move Forward, But I Keep Getting Pulled Back

Let go, Let go with each day, each moment and live this life with intent

But What About If I Can’t Shield You, You Don’t Have To

Well Why Is That?

Because see, that person, they are “Happy You Are Here”

Wait They Are, Why Would They Think That?

Well we saw where you came from, and what brought you here, my dear..

We saw the fear in your eyes.

We witnessed the gears you shifted through to find what felt right.

We captured the shear strength you had to make it here.

Wait What Do You Mean?

Honey, we are “Happy You Are Here”

When Did You Think That?

We stopped thinking about them, and started with the thought of you.

Where Did This All Come From?

We kept going, going and never stopped to see we were passing right by all that you said and meant. We can’t keep living a lie, we now know we have to live the truth.

The truth of a lie? No that’s FALSE

Then, WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?

WELL MEANING HAS NO SUBSTANCE, IF YOU AREN’T HERE

You said that when I was there and now here

Where did I go Wrong?

You were always right, you always had it all in front of you, it just took you time and will continue to, with each day my sweet dear you will find fear makes a pact with courage, with each moment you will find you have to go through hell to have a piece of heaven, and with each memory you find a story you get to tell as what used to be fades and you are made into who you were and where you were meant to always be… right here, not there, but here, what where I am, you are here, where is here, it is right there, and what does this all mean??? We may never know, so slow down son, take each step day by day, because this moment brought you to today…. and simply said..

WE ARE “HAPPY YOU ARE HERE”… Glad you could join us… yet we never left.

PS this poem was written to reflect how many of us experience the feeling of overthinking, looking back and forward, wondering why we can’t keep pace in the race of life, and pondering why the finish line keeps getting moved every time we run towards an idea of where we ought to think we should go to feel completed. Yet all we should remember in this moment, is to be HAPPY WE ARE HERE, ENJOYING THE PAIN, MESS, HAPPINESS, DISDAIN, AND THE GRAIN OF GRACE LIFE WILL BRING US AS WE CONTINUE TO GROW INTO WHO WERE ALWAYS MEANT TO BE…. SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE!! (CAPS & CHEERS INCLUDED)

Finding Yourself Through It All

Finding myself through it all, this year has been quite a ride. I went from standing up for myself to realizing that we still live in a time where people rather acknowledge then move on with their lives. Learning that victim blaming is real, despite what changes have been showcased in real media. In that moment I realized sometimes the best thing you can do is leave a rather toxic chapter behind you. And only a few months into 2019, I stepped into a chapter of my life that came with it’s changes, good and bad. I stepped into a job that I am beyond grateful for. I stepped into living with my boo of 2 and half years, while our relationship has had its’ ups and downs, we continue to make it through despite all the odds playing against us.

While stepping into new experiences means sometimes the old needs to be shed from your life; more importantly relationships that were rather taking from me than giving and showing up for me. Knowing when to let things and people go can be hard, but can be the most transformative moments in your life. I guess what I am saying is I have grown a lot this year and know that going into 2020, I can feel it in my bones, heart and mind that this will be the best year yet. It will be a year of unimaginable growth, while I don’t know what exactly this year holds for me or for you, I know this new decade, new age will challenge us and uplift us through so many breakthroughs.

Breaking through barriers that once held us back. Breaking through to become the best version of yourself. Breaking through to taking that first step on the path you have always wanted to venture down. Cause let me say 2020 will be the year, hold me to my word where I and hopefully you too will be making breakthrough the barriers of our mind, opinions that once held us back. Staying on track may be hard but always move forward, despite how many times you get derailed, you will one day I know deep down will get to the destination you are hoping to go to or be at. While I do not have 2020 vision, and life is not perfect and neither are any of us, let’s venture into this new season, new age and new decade.

Cheers to 2020!!

3 Simple Ways to Add Joy Into Your Life

I used to think joy was brought to me through people and things, but as I grow and get older, I realize joy can simply come from within and finding moments within your day to practice joy. Little did I know that my mom buying me a book called, Breathe Gratitude would show me how to do just this. I highly suggest you have this book in your life, even if you do not think you need it because I honestly thought I knew how to practice gratitude and all that is involved. Well anyway enough of me babbling on, let’s jump into 3 simple to the point ways you can add joy into your life, no matter how hectic your life may look. I got you boo.

1. Finding the Joy to Enjoy

In each day, whether you are having the best or worst day, you can always find the joy in enjoy. What I mean is you can feel like you have no control over your emotions, but you do. You do have the power to find the joy in a crappy day, as little as it may be. There is always something you can count your blessings for. Once you do, hold onto it and remember to hold it tight to comfort or uplift you during the best and worst days. Joy will be there for you no matter what, people and things may not always be. So choose to spread joy with your spirit. Cause honey, listen, you are like no one else so celebrate the joy you bring to people’s lives. Because you do. Never forget to find joy in enjoying the best, okay and worst days of your life because they craft you in the person you are and hope to be. You got this and if you still don’t think so. I got your back and so does joy.

2. Stop with FOMO. Start with JOMO.

I am guessing you have heard of FOMO, Fear Of Missing Out, but you have not it simply refers to a fear of missing out when it comes to social settings or situations, especially when it comes to social media. I know I had and continue to deal with FOMO, especially when I jump onto Instagram and see on everyone’s highlight reel or posts that they are living their best life, or I catch myself comparing myself to influencers I do not even know. But what I have learned is I do not want my social media presence to be a highlight reel but a highlight real of what is going on my life, the good and bad because life isn’t always rainbows and dandies. So recently I have decided to go live and share in my posts, real life updates, not sugar coated or catchy captions because your girl wants to be real and create genuine connections. Anyway enough about me and FOMO. Simply put boo, stop with FOMO and start with JOMO… wait what’s JOMO?

Well I am glad you asked, JOMO is the Joy Of Missing Out, which means paying attention to the moments of joy. While Joy is often sold as something that can be bought, consumed or won by being popular and meeting the expectations of conformity. Real joy actually comes from doing your own thing without worrying what others will think. Simply it comes from breaking away from the norm in any way that feels normal to you. So whenever you feel a sense of FOMO, add some joy or may I say JOMO into your life. Think about how, where and why you feel. There is no winners in the game of emotions, because rather thieves (people and things) when it comes to our emotions. Play the game of emotions, but don’t be played by your emotions. Emotions may not make sense but that’s okay. It is okay not to be okay. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to hurt. It is okay to heal. It is okay to be happy again because no matter how bloom or doom your life looks in this moment, you can always find a friend in JOMO, or rather Joy.

3. Enjoying Joy in All Life’s Complexities

Enjoying joy can be quite simple and hard at times. So I am here to help you enjoy joy despite all the complexities life will bring your way. One thing that will help you find joy is creating a physical trigger that stimulates a memory whenever you need it. While people and things can leave you, joy will always be by your side to lift you up. Anyway the first step you can take i by recalling a moment where you felt truly content, full or satisfied. Then you will want to close your eyes and build on that memory that comes to mind with colors, sounds, feelings and sensations. Take a moment to fully let yourself sink into that joy you once felt and experience it until it becomes vivid and as real as it can be. Next, you can find a point on your body, you can either do this discretely or in public, your choice, but you will want to find a point on your body where you can apply pressure until the realness and rawness of the memory passes. You can do this by pushing your two fingers together, then once the feeling has faded off into existence you can sit still for a few breaths before you test yet again this new found place of joy. And then again, apply pressure to that point on your body and if you get the same feeling without any thought or action that means joy is here to stay.

While these are merely suggestions of how you can add joy into your life, you can find ways to add joy into your life that will best fit your mindset, lifestyle and needs. Understanding that joy may look different to you than me. Joy can and will always be a commonality that can connect us to each human being. So smile and enjoy the eminence of this life we get to live.

Enjoy the joy!!

Welcome to Mildly Me

They told me to be you, when all I want is to be Mildly Me.

-Mildly Me

Welcome to Mildly Me. A blog of a home for me and you to better to get to know each other. While my blog is currently a work in progress, aren’t we all, I just want to say I am glad you are here. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.